Hey, Happy Belated, V-man! I wanted to post you something nice but, for reasons I don't fully understand, I decided to go with |grotesque & unacceptable| instead.
I'm housesitting at my aunt & uncle's in NJ, and they have this awesome huge flatscreen, but their cable is only showing 2 games today — Jets-Giants now and Eagles-Patriots at 4. I have to watch Seahawks-Vikings on my tablet (yay for Dish Anywhere).
So with Wayne being 0-4 in state championship games, including losing 2 in a row and 3 in the last 6 years, I found a new mascot for them that isn't offensive to Native Americans.
So, I missed the AM games (I keep trying to schedule my long runs for Saturday and my schedule keeps finding ways to fuck that up.) I've got Denver @ San Diego or Carolina @ New Orleans, which will come on whenever the Niners – Bears game ends–
–holy shit, San Francisco just found a way to win! It's a miracle of God!
On that last play, the Bears safety looked like he couldn't be bothered to do a last-ditch tackle.
Probably wanted to put us out of our misery of the ensuing pooch kick FG/sloppy snap/interception, followed by the Bears defender tripping on the halfway line and tearing his ACL, etc…etc…
Ah, yes, NFL on Fox: December 6, a day that will live in infamy. Just like September 10 will always mean so much to every American. NEVER FORGET (but feel free to estimate).
Timbers win 2-1.
Portland hit the crossbar a couple of times in the second half, but the Columbus Crew didn't really have any bite themselves up front.
I don't like this weird "MLS Cup" format, but I suppose it mirrors the whole Superbowl of World Series winner-take-all thing, even if you didn't win your conference in the regular season.
Plus no relegation or promotion.
Er. FOX' halftime show is being broadcast from Pearl Harbor?
Yeah, I know the anniversary of that event is tomorrow, but this just feels like a PR stunt more than anything else. I'd be more impressed if FOX Sports donated to a veteran's group or something…
It's so random, too.
"Hey, let's do a big extravaganza celebrating the anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor!"
"That seems inappropriate?"
"It's okay, we'll do it Dec 6, And on the 74th….ish anniversary! If we put a bunch of old guys in uniform, no one will question it! We don't even have to donate money!"
I'd be excited for the Eagles, but I've seen too many damn games where the Patriots managed to come from behind yet again. Oh well, hope springs eternal…
"I just want to watch the highlights on a loop." Also, WOOT!
This Panthers – Saints game is pretty good. I am unspeakably grateful to have an alternative to watching the Chargers or the Raiders (ick.)
Also, for those of you who still go there Wonkette is live-blogging Bamz' presser. I'll be there, and then I guess I'll check in and see if Pig Pen can get through one game without a concussion FFS…
This is all part of New England's secret plan to give away the #1 seed to Denver or Cincinnati so they'll have the added pleasure of beating one (or both) of those teams in their own stadium.
Also, also, too, fun fact, I was 12 when this movie came out and all of my friends were going to see it at the local theater. The thing was, this movie was one of the first rated PG-13 and my parents, out of nowhere, suddenly decided an impressionable 12-years-and-8-months-old person could not possibly understand the mature themes of "White Nights" and forbade me to go and I was SO MAD.
I guess Mrs. Ward came up with name about 3 years before Eubie! was up for the Tonys, but it's possible she was psychic (or distantly related).
Heh. My first R-rated film was Saturday Night Fever, which I saw with my best friend and her 18-year-old brother. Julie and I did not understand quite a lot of what was going on. But it was not nearly as scarring as the Dracula movie I accidentally saw late one night when I was 8, causing me to sleep with my blanket over my neck for, well, ever.
I honestly don't remember what my first R-rated movie was, but my first PG-13 movie was "Murphy's Romance" starring Sally Field and James Garner. Ah, the 80s.
Was the Dracula movie you saw a Hammer Studios production by any chance? Starring Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing? They're pretty gory.
I don't remember many details, just that it scared the pants off of me. That does sound right, though.
I'm sorry you were traumatized. When I was growing up, and well into my early teen years, I couldn't handle scary movies of any kind. Never saw Halloween or Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street movies. When I was about 13 my best friend, whose family had a fancy top-load vcr, made me watch the Twilight Zone movie. I was fine until Dan Akroyd turned around in that damn mask.
Worst crowd chants currently happening in the NFL, according to drunk me.
5. Go Pack Go!
4. Any "It's another [insert team name] FIRST DOWN!"
3. The shitty riff before "Go Pack Go!"
2. The "Tomahawk Chop" in KC.
1. The Denver fans yelling, "IN-COM-PLETE!" every fucking time.
Also, not a chant, but especially annoying: the Patriots "Minutemen" shooting off fake muskets after every score. Also, their shitty foghorn thing going off after every fucking play.
If you don't feel like talking football, feel free to post some birthday videos for Vodka (it really is his bday): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3L_fL2A8fY
|Happy B-Day, Vodka!!|
Amazing!
/mind blown.
|Hey, happy birthday, Vodka.|
KITTIES!
Hey, Happy Belated, V-man! I wanted to post you something nice but, for reasons I don't fully understand, I decided to go with |grotesque & unacceptable| instead.
Happy Birthday, Vodka! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRZ5qHeEXEU
I'm housesitting at my aunt & uncle's in NJ, and they have this awesome huge flatscreen, but their cable is only showing 2 games today — Jets-Giants now and Eagles-Patriots at 4. I have to watch Seahawks-Vikings on my tablet (yay for Dish Anywhere).
Ugh, this game is fugly so far.
Yep, I had to stop watching. Painful.
Not really looking forward to the upcoming Iggles-Cheatriots game, either.
Some good news: Jimmy Carter says he is cancer free! http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2015/12/06…
Yay!
Speaking of [foobaw.]
Happy birfday, Vodka!
Vikings seem to be playing flag football today.
Maybe they're trying out the new "offense-friendly" rules for next season?
AP is doing nothing for me today
I am very thankful for this. ODB, on the other hand…
He can wear frosted tips all day long as far as I'm concerned
|The Fat Man sez happy birthday|
Happy birthday, Vodka!
(Edit: Video coming once I find a good one)
Odell Beckham Jr has frosted blond tips. I find the return of this trend disturbing. Did we learn nothing from Justin Timberlake's ramen hair?
Dear Vodka, I found the video. BIRTHDAY DOG!
Aw! He did seem initially disappointed that they weren't food, as we all would be.
Love it!
[Happy birthday!!!!]
So with Wayne being 0-4 in state championship games, including losing 2 in a row and 3 in the last 6 years, I found a new mascot for them that isn't offensive to Native Americans.
<img src="http://www.leaguejacker.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/oVPTsHTPR96jit0cruwa_buffalo-bills2.png" width=500 />
Wow, just saw an ad for Concussion during the Giants game. Is Will Smith more powerful than The Ginger Hammer?
I cannot WAIT to see that game. It will be nice to see a movie that involves football and my hometown–here's hoping it's good.
This Jaguars-Titans game is hilarious. 42-39 with 6:28 to go. Both teams have scored 3 touchdowns in the 4th so far.
Bortles!
Holy shit, I started both Langford AND Forte and they decide to run Carey for the TD. Fuck the Bears.
Thanks Fox!
Also too, WTF got into Taylor?
11 completions, 4 touchdowns. That's incredible.
that's unbelievable
I can't believe Paul Scheer missed the game winning FG for the Bears.
Looks like neither the Bears nor the Niners want this to end/are capable of winning/delete as applicable
Apparently, the 9'ers wanted it more
Happy birthday, Vodka!
The rest of the NFC North is going to be saltier than a Chinese buffet this week.
So, I missed the AM games (I keep trying to schedule my long runs for Saturday and my schedule keeps finding ways to fuck that up.) I've got Denver @ San Diego or Carolina @ New Orleans, which will come on whenever the Niners – Bears game ends–
–holy shit, San Francisco just found a way to win! It's a miracle of God!
On that last play, the Bears safety looked like he couldn't be bothered to do a last-ditch tackle.
Probably wanted to put us out of our misery of the ensuing pooch kick FG/sloppy snap/interception, followed by the Bears defender tripping on the halfway line and tearing his ACL, etc…etc…
Happy [ birthday Vodka ]
<img src="http://curseofbobbylayne.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/curseofbobbylaynepress.jpg" width="275">
Rob Riggle on the NFC East: "You're still in it!" http://www.foxsports.com/nfl/video?vid=5809444515…
a drug so new even Johnny Manziel hasn't partied with it
Rivers sucks…
Every time you father a child, it steals a little of your soul. And your throwing arm.
What happens when Andy Dalton has a kid?
I'm not sure, let me check Revelation.
we know he's reached puberty?
My Steelers have a snowball's chance in hell anytime soon?
<img src="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CVkswDvWIAANztS.jpg" />
If that was a photoshop, I'd have said, "Nah, that's ridiculous."
ETA: Heh, someone in the Deadspin comments suggested this as the illustration for Mansplaining,
Also the comments had the video: https://vine.co/v/i75dgLIIK6K
at least watching the vine, it looks like Bill is trying to demonstrate something
Looks more awkward than anything on vine.
that too
Ah, yes, NFL on Fox: December 6, a day that will live in infamy. Just like September 10 will always mean so much to every American. NEVER FORGET (but feel free to estimate).
Every day on Fox is a day of infamy.
I imagine Terry Bradshaw is going to want his presents on December 24.
That was quite the 2 hours miltrigasm during the pregame. Sheesh.
Gotta wonder how much our tax dollars paid for that ad.
In proper football, Portland Timbers ahead 2-0 after 8 minutes.
Columbus pulled a goal back – very scrappy and pell-mell, but exciting for it.
Plus the referee is letting them play and ignoring any rolling around on the floor crying. Which is nice.
THIS IS MURICA! SPEAK ENGLISH!
Never trust a game where you can't have 5 minutes of adverts, every change of possession.
Timbers win 2-1.
Portland hit the crossbar a couple of times in the second half, but the Columbus Crew didn't really have any bite themselves up front.
I don't like this weird "MLS Cup" format, but I suppose it mirrors the whole Superbowl of World Series winner-take-all thing, even if you didn't win your conference in the regular season.
Plus no relegation or promotion.
Stupid american socialist sportsball!
Er. FOX' halftime show is being broadcast from Pearl Harbor?
Yeah, I know the anniversary of that event is tomorrow, but this just feels like a PR stunt more than anything else. I'd be more impressed if FOX Sports donated to a veteran's group or something…
It's so random, too.
"Hey, let's do a big extravaganza celebrating the anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor!"
"That seems inappropriate?"
"It's okay, we'll do it Dec 6, And on the 74th….ish anniversary! If we put a bunch of old guys in uniform, no one will question it! We don't even have to donate money!"
Are they doing this to leverage internment camps for undesirables (i.e., anyone who isn't white and Xtian)?
Holy shit, the Eagles are ahead. Brady throws a pick-six!
Punt return for Sproles! Holy shit!
Timbers win 2-1! Holy… no, wait, wrong thread.
Holy shit! Iggles won the damn game!!!1!
I'd be excited for the Eagles, but I've seen too many damn games where the Patriots managed to come from behind yet again. Oh well, hope springs eternal…
21 points ahead now, 11 minutes left.
A stomach-churning Patriots comeback win is inevitable.
I hate the fucking Cheatriots
Touchdown New England and they recover the onside kick. And it begins…
35-28, I'm scared
Dear oh dear. Here we fucking go….
at least Brady needs to throw it to Lafell or Amendola for a TD and put it in OT
<img src="http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/b/bd/Antifreeze.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120106223514" />
HOLY SHIT! IGGLES WIN!
What is smokey like right now?
"I just want to watch the highlights on a loop." Also, WOOT!
This Panthers – Saints game is pretty good. I am unspeakably grateful to have an alternative to watching the Chargers or the Raiders (ick.)
Also, for those of you who still go there Wonkette is live-blogging Bamz' presser. I'll be there, and then I guess I'll check in and see if Pig Pen can get through one game without a concussion FFS…
Holy shit, the Iggles are STILL leading the Patriots?
I want to believe…come on, Philly, make me believe…
<img src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/dJ__3OK5_Nc/maxresdefault.jpg">
they'll fuck it up
Indeed they are.
/FFS
oh jeez…
They didn't! They didn't fuck it up!
hard to believe they could still be contenders in the dumpster fire division
Saints up 38-34 on the undefeated Panthers with 5:24 left. Crazy games today.
Watching with baited breath as I type this. Hope to fuck it ends before Bamz' presser.
NO DON'T LOSE A FUMBLE THERE
don't worry, neither of my receivers can catch
What a crazy fantasy game. Would not be surprised if we had to face each other in the playoffs.
This is all part of New England's secret plan to give away the #1 seed to Denver or Cincinnati so they'll have the added pleasure of beating one (or both) of those teams in their own stadium.
I will trade my FF win to see the Cheatriots lose IRL
jeez, Vodka had a lousy birthday score-wise
YES!
Congrats, Eagles fans!
Today, we are all Eagles fans.
Happy, birthday, Vodka. I've failed to find a relevant video, so I'll just say don't lose the |swagger|, bruv.
OK, time to watch Bamz do his thing. I hope you all are nice to me when my team finds a new way to fuck it up tonight…
Carolina- best one-loss team in the NFL!
<img src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/sxxkirq3ezobckgtgnzr.jpg">
The dumbass fb comments provided by deadspin are hilarious:
<img src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/1504476794987719748.png">
"I'm a Bing man…" Need he say more?
I enjoy the randomness of the moray eel.
I was wondering why that was there.
PFTCommenter
Australa is like the SEC of the former British colonys because everyone talks w/ a funny accent and no ones scared of gators
Apparently, Rupert Murdoch needs to show up for every Patriots game. He's bad luck.
I rather like that idea. Rupert Murdoch is like the cursed tiki necklace on The Brady Bunch!
insert grumpy cat gif here
<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1ojd6aedM1qzcl41o1_500.jpg">
Imagine a Cowboys win tomorrow night. This would be the standings:
Eagles 5-7
Washington 5-7
Giants 5-7
Cowboys 4-8
And we thought the AFC South would be the worst one…
they don't look much better
Me: "So, did Heinz [sic] Ward's mom name him after a brand of ketchup?"
smokey: "No, it's Hines. H-I-N-E-S… But his sister's name is Hidden Valley."
that's Kerry's wife's maiden name
Ah, yes, Miss "African-American" Teresa Heinz Kerry.
So he was named after that tapdancing guy?
His dad's name was probably Duncan.
Well, he was born about 9 years before "White Nights" came out, so, maybe? Also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we0mk_J0zyc
Also, also, too, fun fact, I was 12 when this movie came out and all of my friends were going to see it at the local theater. The thing was, this movie was one of the first rated PG-13 and my parents, out of nowhere, suddenly decided an impressionable 12-years-and-8-months-old person could not possibly understand the mature themes of "White Nights" and forbade me to go and I was SO MAD.
I guess Mrs. Ward came up with name about 3 years before Eubie! was up for the Tonys, but it's possible she was psychic (or distantly related).
Heh. My first R-rated film was Saturday Night Fever, which I saw with my best friend and her 18-year-old brother. Julie and I did not understand quite a lot of what was going on. But it was not nearly as scarring as the Dracula movie I accidentally saw late one night when I was 8, causing me to sleep with my blanket over my neck for, well, ever.
I honestly don't remember what my first R-rated movie was, but my first PG-13 movie was "Murphy's Romance" starring Sally Field and James Garner. Ah, the 80s.
Was the Dracula movie you saw a Hammer Studios production by any chance? Starring Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing? They're pretty gory.
I don't remember many details, just that it scared the pants off of me. That does sound right, though.
I'm sorry you were traumatized. When I was growing up, and well into my early teen years, I couldn't handle scary movies of any kind. Never saw Halloween or Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street movies. When I was about 13 my best friend, whose family had a fancy top-load vcr, made me watch the Twilight Zone movie. I was fine until Dan Akroyd turned around in that damn mask.
| 'nother Hines |
Very nice. Quite the pianist! Thank you.
Worst crowd chants currently happening in the NFL, according to drunk me.
5. Go Pack Go!
4. Any "It's another [insert team name] FIRST DOWN!"
3. The shitty riff before "Go Pack Go!"
2. The "Tomahawk Chop" in KC.
1. The Denver fans yelling, "IN-COM-PLETE!" every fucking time.
Also, not a chant, but especially annoying: the Patriots "Minutemen" shooting off fake muskets after every score. Also, their shitty foghorn thing going off after every fucking play.
Let it be known that cmdr is both drunk and a Vikings fan, if you're wondering why #5 and #3 even made the list.
Haw haw!
https://mtc.cdn.vine.co/r/videos/9567C1ACFC128542…
<img src="https://cdn1.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/TkCbISeWuTj8EnlyRjM5a21l69U=/800×0/filters:no_upscale%28%29/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/4330485/antoniowheee.0.gif">
"I always say we win ugly even when we win pretty, but Jesus!"
That wasn't a flag, that was just a terrible towel.
Best "Ow My Balls!" tribute ever!
God, Indy not only lost to us, but we kicked ass. Call me shocked, confused, and elated all at the same time…
See you all tomorrow night!
I knew Reba had a thing for him!