10 thoughts on ““No charges.” FBI Director announces outcome of investigation.

        1. Actual Story:

          SCENE
          Drunks, drinking at kitchen table
          Drunk #1: "You know, Ether can get you rilly high."
          Drunk #2: "Yeah? I got some!"

          Drunk #2 exits, stage right, returns with can of starting fluid. Sits.

          Drunk #2: "OK, now what?"
          Drunk #1: "You *inhale* it, dumbass!"
          Drunk #2: "Oh, OK…"

          Drunk #2 then points aerosol can at face and gives himself a 5-second blast of ether.
          Drunk #2 passes completely out, tumbles off chair to floor of kitchen

          Enter C_R at this very moment.

          He sees Drunk #2 collapsed on floor, a spray can of ether rolling slowly towards him.
          Drunk #1 is sitting up, laughing wildly. Ether fumes billow out the open kitchen door

          C_R: "DON'T YOU LIGHT THAT FUCKIN' CIGARETTE GODDAMMIT"

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