84 thoughts on “Football Week 2

        1. Oof, rough. I guess we should expect this in a game where Derek Carr can be a top-3 QB in any given week (no seriously, he's 3rd in scoring and I'm really confused)

        1. If it makes you feel any better:

          The only thing worse than a Steelers loss is a Steelers win when I'm still embittered enough by the Michael Vick travesty that it's a bittersweet victory at best

          :-(

          1. Now I just feel bad for you ;_;

            Actually I feel a lot less terrible about my team this morning than when I typed that, despite all the craziness it managed to crank out just over 100 points. Not bad for a losing effort.

      1. Oh, yeah, that's because of this thing, according to the National Hurricane Center:

        Showers and thunderstorms associated with an area of low pressure located about 100 miles west-southwest of Cabo San Lazaro, Mexico, have continued to become gradually better organized, but there is still no evidence that the low has a well-defined center of circulation. The low is expected to move northward at about 15 mph during the next day or so, and it could still become a tropical depression before it reaches the west coast of the Baja California peninsula tonight. Interests on the Baja Californian peninsula should continue to monitor the progress of the low. Regardless of tropical cyclone formation, moisture associated with this disturbance is expected to produce heavy rains across portions of the Baja California peninsula and northwestern Mexico today and Monday, and over portions of southern California and Arizona on Monday and Tuesday. These rains could produce life-threatening flash floods and mud slides, especially in mountainous areas.
        * Formation chance through 48 hours…high…70 percent
        * Formation chance through 5 days…high…70 percent

          1. A rare week where southern California and Arizona are expecting more rain than Ohio! Here we're expected to get none.

  1. Don't look now, but the Bills just scored 19 points in the 4th quarter and are only down 5 with 3:24 to go.

    Update: Bills down 8, 1:15 to go, about to get the ball back.

    Update 2: DAMN IT NEVER MIND THEY STILL LOST

  2. Romo suffered a fractured left clavicle during Sunday's game against the Eagles, Brandon George of the Dallas Morning News reports.

    RIP my backup plan

    Edit: Coleman is questionable to return to Sunday's game against the Giants due to a rib injury.

    Oh wow, this is a bad week for my team.

  3. Hey all! Still don't have internet at home (except on my phone), but I did get my Dish hooked up today, so I finally have fooball in HD! At the moment, I am at the McDonald's around the corner, eating very slowly to soak up as much wifi as possible (maybe even more wifi than cholesterol!). They have 2 tvs, one with the Eagles post-game on, the other was the one in my section where the only other diner got up and switched it to Fox News, at which point I picked up my tray and my laptop and pointedly moved to the other section. Ugh, I hate knowing it's even there. Three more days until wifi at home!

    1. I feel your pain so much, I was waiting for someone having surgery last week and the waiting room had Fox News not only on, but people kept swarming around the TV to watch it.

      3 more days until you're free from having to listen to Bill O'Reilly and can watch Aaron Rodgers instead!

      1. The only blessing is, this being a tourist area, this McDonald's is relatively large, and the tvs are positioned so there isn't much audio spillover between the sections. I can just barely hear them talking about what an evil criminal witch Hillary is.

        1. Oh, well that's at least something, only sort of hearing how she's a horrible person for things they mostly made up instead of easily hearing it! Progress!

          You'll be missing the next two nights of Colbert, with back-to-back GOP guests… Ted Cruz followed by Donald Trump. I'm not sure what to expect.

          1. Wow, he's having ALL the candidates on. Good thing he has over a year.

            But I can see it — I have tv now, just no internet. Plus, once I have internet on Wednesday, I think I can go back and check anything I missed through either OnDemand or Hulu (and, failing that, torrent). It's actually pretty cool — my old setup didn't have an HD DVR, while this one is not only HD, it has convinced my cheapass tv that it is a 1080p set, so I can finally see all the divots. Also too, it apparently has PIP built in, which should come in handy next Sunday.

      1. Dammit, Shel– I was still getting it out..
        Fuck you, Chip. That's what happens when you pretend you're playing fantasy with an actual team. Bring back Koy Detmer, Bubby Brister, My Goddamn Grandma!!!
        OMG, fuck me. 2025 Iggles lookin' good.
        FanDuel Bonus Code: SHITBALLS

        1. Tomorrow at a Wawa somewhere in the greater Philadelphia area:
          Guy: Hey, aren't you Chip Kelly, you motherfucker? DIIIIE!
          Guy who shall remain anonymous: NO! I get that all the time. Please stop hitting me with that Portuguese roll.

  4. I was wondering why the SparkleKarens had such a low score then realized they have 5 players going in tonight's game. o_O

  5. I predict once, during tonight's game, they will show Clay Mathews on the sideline with his helmet off pouring water over his luxurious hair.

    1. Not even Johnny Depp can explain it.

      I think it is part of a grand scheme to make sure all the actors women had crushes on in the 80s and 90s do an inexplicable off-putting commercial so that all women over 35 pay more attention to their actual significant others. So far, they have checked off Brad Pitt, Matthew MacConaughey and Johnny. I assume Christian Slater is next, then Leonardo DiCaprio.

    1. Hopefully, there is a written report that the crew has to submit to the league after each game, and that report uses the word "ass", for posterity.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *