deadspin turkey

Bread and Circuses: Your Monday night football thread since no one else has put one up yet.
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93 thoughts on “Bread and Circuses: Your Monday night football thread since no one else has put one up yet.”

  1. Mainly because I found it funny that it's apparently such a slow news day in sportsball that Deadspin's top-of-the-page article is a vote on the best poultry thermometer.

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    1. Best thing is any one that you can stick in the turkey, have the wire out to something outside, and it beeps when it's the right temperature.

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      2. I have the $15 Taylor one that does that. Those guys advocating for the $100 quick read thermometer? I will eat my hat if they have ever actually roasted a turkey by themselves.

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          1. Like I said, the $15 Taylor one does exactly the same thing, and the one I have has worked fine for 10 years, so I can't justify paying more than three times as much to get it in orange.

          3. Finally, a meat thermometer I can take on my hunting trips! No more under-cooked venison for me!

          7. Speaking of Xmas and kitchen gadgets, I got |this| a few months ago and use it a lot.

            It's a six-cup slow cooker with three temperature settings and only $14. It's small enough to make a meal for one or two people with leftovers. This particular model had the best reviews and I do think the reviewers are right about the oval shape being an advantage, too. Plus, there turns out to be a lot of recipes out on the Web for slow cooking for one or two people, and there's a lot of books on Amazon for it, too. I guess this is a thing now, who knew?

          9. I've got the same one! (The local Shoprite had them out a while back for about that price). Yeah, it;s weird that they're back around again, but you can definitely find tons of recipes now. I've used mine for pot roast, of course, and every few months I throw in a couple few chicken breasts covered with salsa verde and freeze them to have for quick quesadilla/taco filling. Oh, and I made some chicken stew thing with biscuits on top that comes our pretty well (though the online recipes tend to be super bland, gotta jazz them up).

          10. OMG! It makes sense, I guess, becoming a thing again, because it's retro, but also just toss some stuff in in the morning and by dinner time it's done. I've tried chicken a few times, too, and it worked out nicely, fits one thigh lengthwise, fall-off-the-bone done-ness, yum. It does potatoes and yams nicely, too.

            I saw a "tip" somewhere of layering beef on top of a half-inch slice of onion to keep it from sitting in a pool of drippings. I don't eat much beef but I'm tempted to try it just because that sounds clever.

          11. Oh, yes, definitely. When I've done beef, I throw a sliced potato or onion on the bottom first. Keeps it a bit up, easy clean up. I did a pot roast that way last week — potato on the bottom, throw in some chopped mirepoix (which I got from the salad bar, pre-chopped), put in the beef, add a package of dried onion soup, some beef bouillon, beer, water to top it off (not a fan of tomato paste in pot roast). The only problem was having to smell it cooking for six hours :)

          12. Yum. I'll have to try the dried onion mix. I've finally had to admit to myself that spicy and hot foods don't agree with me no matter how much I'd like to believe otherwise, and so I've been revisiting other options.

          13. Aw. Yeah, this comes out flavorful, not spicy. You can sub red wine for the beer, or skip the alcohol entirely. It's good hot, but it's even better in sandwiches for the next few days after.

      1. from Lawyers , Guns and Money comments in recent post………..
        .
        N__B says:
        November 9, 2015 at 3:59 pm

        There is a commenter at Wonkette (or maybe was, as my reading there is irregularly bunched) whose standard response to almost everything is “For fuck’s sake.”

        For fuck’s sake.

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      2. I have a Coors story.. My dad was stationed around Pike's Peak during Vietnam (never went to college, did well on his ASVAB… later, got a job at the local paper as a photographer which he had for 40 years.)
        He loved Coors for ahwile. I think it was prolly the best shit he ever drank at that time, anyway.

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        1. When I was in college in the Midwest, Coors wasn't distributed any farther than their own refrigerated trucks could could carry it. It had near-legendary status, and anybody traveling to Colorado was begged to bring back a case or two.

          Then again, we used to think Southern Comfort was a good way to get drunk fast without puking.

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  4. Sort of OT, but from the NYT

    Russian Athletes Part of State-Sponsored Doping Program, Report Finds

    Members of Russia’s secret service intimidated workers at a drug-testing lab that analyzed samples from top athletes, persuading them to cover up positive tests. They impersonated lab engineers during the Winter Olympics in Sochi last year and kept the facility under close surveillance. That lab once destroyed more than 1,400 samples, fearing the discovery of doping violations.

    Athletes, meanwhile, adopted false identities while traveling to avoid unexpected testing, and some who tested positive paid part of their prize money to make doping violations disappear. Others proactively bribed antidoping authorities to assure favorable results, and some of the country’s sports officials routinely submitted bogus urine samples for athletes who were doping.

    Speaking of the Russian threat…

    /FFS

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    1. Sounds like they might even be banned as a country from the next Olympics. Pretty incredible to cheat enough to have that on the table.

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  6. Oh, yay. It's America's Angriest Quarterback vs. America's Sleepiest Quarterback. So many questions! Which one will prevail? Will Philip Rivers throw a tantrum? (Yes.) Will Jay Cutler fall asleep in the 3rd quarter? (Yes.) Will Rivers' wife give birth to their 9th child during the game? Probably! Stop breeding, Philip Rivers! One of you is enough!

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    2. Hard to decide which sounds more exciting: the sleeping/angry quarterback bake-off or the turkey thermometer bake-off.

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  7. I love watching the ESPN talking heads make their predictions–their picks all boil down to:

    I'm picking the Chargers–they suck less!

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  8. LOL and they told me Jeremy Langford was going to start

    Edit: there he is, they just got him mixed up with that Carey guy who isn't related to Drew

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        1. Oh, I apparently only came up like 5 points short, I kind of left around halftime. 144 points in a loss, what a game.

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  11. Oh good–for a while, I was worried I wouldn't get the chance to see Philip Rivers' pissed-off face, but that fumble just served it up in spades…

    ETA: and with that pick-6, I have now seen Jay Cutler's sleepy face as well!

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  14. OT, but for those of you who enjoy watching GOP infighting as much as I do, from the NYT:

    Bush Allies Threaten Wave of Harsh Attacks on Rubio, an Ex-Mentee

    Seething with anger and alarmed over Mr. Rubio’s rise, aides to Mr. Bush, the former Florida governor, and his allies are privately threatening a wave of scathing attacks on his former protégé in the coming weeks, in a sign of just how anxious they have become about the state of Mr. Bush’s candidacy…

    Whether or not the onslaught ever materializes, Mr. Rubio and his team are bracing for it and preparing to counter it by sifting through hours of video footage for instances in which Mr. Bush spoke about Mr. Rubio as an admiring ally, not a political foe.

    Let the games begin!

    <img src="http://media.giphy.com/media/LFlT04CTtrwc/giphy.gif"&gt;

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    2. I was rooting for them! Always a good feeling..
      Really, though, I gotta tell ya when Jim McMahon played for the Eagles, he was a whiny goddamn bitch. If someone breathed on his arm or farted his way, 'injured'. Just sayin'.

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  19. Whether Russia poses a new threat, which could be grimly amusing if I weren't sneezing and coughing this much. It would be plain rude for me to show up while I'm feeling this way, so I'm passing on that one. Here's hoping the game isn't too boring tonight…

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  25. From "The Meaning of Liff", by Douglas Adams and John LLoyd:

    Throcking (participial vb.)
    The action of continually pushing down the lever on a pop-up toaster in the hope that you will thereby get it to understand that you want it to toast something.

    Throckmorton (n.)
    The soul of a departed madman: one of those now known to inhabit the timing mechanism of pop-up toasters.

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  26. This judge could show them how to execute a play rather than punt–from the NYT:

    A federal judge on Monday partly blocked the National Security Agency’s program that systematically collects Americans’ domestic phone records in bulk just weeks before the agency was scheduled to shut it down and replace it. The judge said the program was most likely unconstitutional.

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