14 thoughts on “MORE Questions About Scalia’s Death!

  1. “It wasn’t a heart attack,” [questionably-yclept Presidio County Judge Cinderela] Guevara told the Washington Post. “He died of natural causes.”

    Since when is a heart attack not natural? It's certainly how my family history indicates I'll be going off the clock.

  2. Declaring someone dead over the phone is apparently permissible under Texas law

    It involves having the caller hold the phone to the deceased's ear while the judge yells "HELLO!? ARE YOU ALIVE?!"

    Some of the more populous counties have an automated system in which the deceased can navigate a menu with a touchtone phone or even voice commands.

    1. Press 1 or say 1 if you are dead. Press 2 or say 2 if you think you may be dead. Press 3 or say 3 if you are not sure. Or just say "I'm not sure" to get back to the main menu. Press 7 if you like circles and round shapes are funny to you.

  3. I know the righties think Obama did it, but, come on, I watch enough detective shows to know that Tony's wife must be suspect #1, especially when he went hunting on Valentine's Day weekend leaving her at home with nine kids.

    1. She was jealous of his relationship with that libertine woman in black, Notorious RBG. If she couldn't have Nino for her own, then damned if she'd let anyone else have him.

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