My idiot neighbor (and I use "idiot" in the clinical sense) has deliberately or accidentally awakened me four days in a row. If he does it again tomorrow, I can legally kill him, right?
HOCKEY REMINDER: Vodka has asked me to remind anyone who signed up for Fantasy Hockey that A. You need to confirm your team if you haven't already (ESPN had some email wonkiness, so if you never saw your invite, check your spam/trash folders). B. Our draft is tomorrow night at 9:30pmEST.
Watching Packer games with my mother (and back in the 70s and 80s, the Packers sucked) was, at times, genuinely frightening. The swearing. The jumping on the couch. The throwing of things at the tv. The high-pitched keening. This is why, although I will occasionally let out a whoop when good things happen, I mostly confine my negative game feelings to glowering and muttering and leaving the room.
That's beautiful, Snow. Thank you. I will recall the Brothers Detmer and not try to completely shake this season off.. Yes. Fly, Eagles Fly. *sniff* [Dude, where's my TEAM?]
Snarky joke. She's a bubble-headed anti-vaxxer who announced she was writing a book almost 2 years before the release date, so they started a column making fun of her. Now the comments have become sort of the Wonkville of Gawker, since it's their only reliable daily feature.
Dear every Broncos fan in Denver today, please, PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy, stop chanting IN-COM-PLETE EVERY FUCKING TIME! Thank you and go fuck yourselves.
Drew Brees won the game on a 80-yard TD pass in OT after a Saints missed 30-yard FG, putting me 6.4 ahead with Detroit's maybe-drunk kicker on the other side tomorrow night against the Seahawks. MIRACLES MIGHT ACTUALLY BE REAL
My dogs won't wait any longer, so if this game goes into OT I'll have to see what happens on SportsCenter. That is, unless (as snowpointsecret notes) both teams continue to suck. BBL,,,
Day 1: Blasting his original rap music (to be clear, he is a 30-year-old white guy)
Day 2: Knocked on door till I woke up, asked to "borrow" cigarette
Day 3: Tossed furniture around inside and out for an hour because, apparently, his brother stole money from him and lost it gambling (on what is unclear). Apologized later for noise and tossing my shit across driveway, but he was mad, yaknow?
Day 4: Spent 45 minutes hammering something in bathroom (wall adjoins my apt where bed is).
I'm not sure what will happen tomorrow (other than me killing him).
Sweet Georgia Brown! I heard once that, in Texas, someone defended himself (after killing someone) by saying "He needed killing." The judge allowed it.
It's Ivory vs The Dolphins tbh.
Poor cetaceans
My idiot neighbor (and I use "idiot" in the clinical sense) has deliberately or accidentally awakened me four days in a row. If he does it again tomorrow, I can legally kill him, right?
Not sure killing is legal. Have you tried Marshall stacks at 2:00 am?
<img src="http://mrsmithagency.com/wp-contentold/uploads/2013/06/marshall.jpg" width="400">
Volume at 11, obvs.
I will have to check the flea market. but that seems worth it.
No court would convict you.
There is a big pond behind our building, so maybe the courts don't even need to be involved.
<img src="http://www.tucsonreptileshow.com/images/phocagallery/2013/thumbs/phoca_thumb_m_p4.jpg" width="300" height="300">
Blue, where did you find a photo of my high school vice principal?
http://www.tucsonreptileshow.com/
Kitty!
"It's too early for this shit."
Agreed.
Smokey, just now, watching the game in London: "There are a lot of people in the stands. Did they pay them?"
HOCKEY REMINDER: Vodka has asked me to remind anyone who signed up for Fantasy Hockey that A. You need to confirm your team if you haven't already (ESPN had some email wonkiness, so if you never saw your invite, check your spam/trash folders). B. Our draft is tomorrow night at 9:30pmEST.
I see it in my inbox–thanks for the heads up. Shit, now I have to learn how hockey works…/jk
Disney cocked up my login so badly. I even tried a brand new email address and still got locked out.
Oh well, I tried
I know nothing.. (except from the times of Khabibulin..)
Promo Code: BPARENT
Invite does not exist in LeagueMember
FIX IT!!!
I guess that one weird trick with the toilet paper worked!
"Gee, why isn't there a strong football market in Los Angeles?"
"Hey, let's schedule a game with a start time of 6:30 AM Pacific time!"
Contrarily, think of us poor buggers who have to stay up till 2.30am for some games to start on tv. :<
My options are Giants at Bills or Raiders at Bears. I think I'm just gonna watch SVU all day until the Colts game.
Edit: Except FUCK, I don't have that game here.
I have Chiefs-Bengals or Eagles-Skins. SVU sounds perfect. (Isn't the Colts game on now?)
Thought it was 4:30 but I think it is on now.
The NFL has gotten tricksy, so you can't trust any time they tell you in advance. They are pretty much the world's worst boyfriend at this point.
get 'Apartment' Sunday Ticket. That's what we did.
NY Giants at Buffalo
Cleveland at San Diego
Green Bay at San Francisco
…fuck it, maybe today is the day I finally clean my apartment
Can I have Green Bay at San Francisco? Stuck with Minnesota at Denver lmao
Going to #1 son's b'day instead of sportzball.
Watching an Iggles game with smokey is like riding a roller coaster made of swears.
You'll have to come over sometime when my team is on. Even other Steelers fans think I'm a bit much…
My flatmate is a fervent England rugby supporter. Maybe you two should have a duel?
That said, she _was_ strangely quiet last night…
You're writing poems aren't you?
Watching Packer games with my mother (and back in the 70s and 80s, the Packers sucked) was, at times, genuinely frightening. The swearing. The jumping on the couch. The throwing of things at the tv. The high-pitched keening. This is why, although I will occasionally let out a whoop when good things happen, I mostly confine my negative game feelings to glowering and muttering and leaving the room.
Better now?
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. Try to find a quiet corner.
I think I just heard Smokey. I've got a worthy competitor…
She was actually laughing at that ending.
It was pretty comical.
Eagles being Eagles.
Yeah– prolly '97-'98
If there's any good news to give you, it's that the rest of the NFC East isn't exactly looking amazing.
＜￣｀ヽ、 ／￣＞
ゝ、 ＼ ／⌒ヽ,ノ /´
ゝ、 `（ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ／
> ,ノ
∠_,,,/´”
That's beautiful, Snow. Thank you. I will recall the Brothers Detmer and not try to completely shake this season off.. Yes. Fly, Eagles Fly. *sniff* [Dude, where's my TEAM?]
My cousin posted this on FB under, "What did you do, Chip?": https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1…
Oh Jesus, a Christmas ad already? Can we at least get past fucking Halloween first?
It's past the 4th of July, so marketers think it's okay.
Touchdown Fleener! (Yay, I forgot I have that Redzone channel!)
Jesus Christ, FUCK FRANK GORE.
Damn, for a minute I thought Buffalo would make it interesting. Back to cleaning…
Cairo Santos is having a good day. 7 Field Goals wtf
Come on, Fleener! Fleen me! (Also, "Hasselbeck is spry for the age of 40" is an actual thing they just said on television.)
OMAHA
Martellus Bennett seems to think Jay Cutler gets criticized too much, and here is what he actually said:
"They threw rocks at Jesus, and Jesus was an excellent guy who did a lot of awesome stuff."
"Oh, for fuck's sake."
– Jesus Christ
And Jesus wasn't even married to Kristin Cavalleri!
What is with Gawker's obsession with her?!
Snarky joke. She's a bubble-headed anti-vaxxer who announced she was writing a book almost 2 years before the release date, so they started a column making fun of her. Now the comments have become sort of the Wonkville of Gawker, since it's their only reliable daily feature.
Dear every Broncos fan in Denver today, please, PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy, stop chanting IN-COM-PLETE EVERY FUCKING TIME! Thank you and go fuck yourselves.
Oh crap, so that's what I have to hear in week 8? Sounds awful.
OT but Ichiro pitched today. Ichiro.
After that TD, a reminder of another real quote, this from Mike McCarthy:
"John Kuhn is smart, has a lot of grit. Fundamentally sound in what he's asked to do. A real student of the game. A real pro's pro."
It's literally the coach version of word salad.
Football to English translator: "John Kuhn is white. John Kuhn is a white running back. So very very white."
But the real question: Is he whiter than Danny Woodhead?
Is that possible?
I see my second-favorite team isn't doing any better than what is technically still my first favorite. Thank God for the Pirates…
Should have stayed in San Francisco.
OTOH, this Browns – Chargers game just became unexpectedly good. Enough cleaning for a while…
Browns tie it up with two minutes to go. I'm not sure what's worse for them – getting back in the game, or losing to a Rivers last-minute drive…
If the Browns lose to a last-minute drive then the Browns fans around here are going to be impossible to deal with for the next week.
Well, you have to give it to the Browns – that was a new wrinkle on how to fuck it up.
RIP Browns fans 1999-2015
I need Drew Brees to have a really big night tonight. Like maybe getting my team's first touchdown of the week.
That would be good. #AnyoneButTheDallasCowboysPlease
Since it worked last week, I have to do this again.
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/VyuNMZL.png" />
I still find it weird, seeing Graham in a Seahawks uniform.
Yeah, it's really odd, hard to get used to. Kind of like seeing Brett Favre in a Vikings jersey or Peyton Manning as a Bronco.
Reminds me of Brian Dawkins as a Bronco.. wtf? Long live #20..
Who's your favorite safety?
TOUCHDOWN ACQUIRED
Drew Brees won the game on a 80-yard TD pass in OT after a Saints missed 30-yard FG, putting me 6.4 ahead with Detroit's maybe-drunk kicker on the other side tomorrow night against the Seahawks. MIRACLES MIGHT ACTUALLY BE REAL
Dear god I hate the fucking coach's clicker on NBC's Football Night in America.
That's what I'm talking about. Keep it up, Saints!
Apropos of nothing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRSzZsQV5fc
Both teams deserve to lose this game, it's been awful.
AW SHIT.
My dogs won't wait any longer, so if this game goes into OT I'll have to see what happens on SportsCenter. That is, unless (as snowpointsecret notes) both teams continue to suck. BBL,,,
Derpity Derpity Doo.. Let's see what happens on the coin toss.
HE MISSED THE FIELD GOAL LOL, LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE OVERTIME
I got home just in time. YES!
That ending was incredibly satisfying.
Screw you, 'Girls!
The reaction from most of the universe
https://twitter.com/GregAbbott_TX/status/65087630…
Texas' Governor tries to make a joke, fails miserably.
Some of the replies, OTOH, are hilarious:
Hee hee hee…
Goddamn, you just can't stop being all mofucking Texas, can you now? (or maybe the simpler "Texas Says What?")
Day 1: Blasting his original rap music (to be clear, he is a 30-year-old white guy)
Day 2: Knocked on door till I woke up, asked to "borrow" cigarette
Day 3: Tossed furniture around inside and out for an hour because, apparently, his brother stole money from him and lost it gambling (on what is unclear). Apologized later for noise and tossing my shit across driveway, but he was mad, yaknow?
Day 4: Spent 45 minutes hammering something in bathroom (wall adjoins my apt where bed is).
I'm not sure what will happen tomorrow (other than me killing him).
Sweet Georgia Brown! I heard once that, in Texas, someone defended himself (after killing someone) by saying "He needed killing." The judge allowed it.
"Borrow" a cigarette? Go fuck a duck, dude.
Well, your reports up till now were a bit on the idyllic side.
Short term, there may be more noise………..
<img src="http://www.dickssportinggoods.com/graphics/product_images/pDSP1-8907978dt.jpg" width="300" height="300">
Borrow a cigarette?
<img src="http://cdn2.crushable.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/hermione-bitch-please.gif">
DAMN I forgot to donate toward it, I was going to, I'm so sorry ;_;
You are so very welcome!
Since I completely did not expect this, no problem
Still love you and all of you.
<3
I was going to as well. Sorry I fucked that up, but enjoy whatever you get with the gift card.
Btw, I believe cmdr was the one who set it up and came up with the idea, he did a good job.
That was my hunch. He's such a great guy. Smokey is a lucky woman.
It was really Close Read's idea. Smokey and I just did the coordinating.
Ah, well good job to Close Read then! And all three of you, of course.
Okay, Close Read is The Best, you and Smokey are Vice Awesome!
You're the best!
I hope to be able to get that box together for you and Smokey some time next week or so. I just have to figure out how to ship pork roll safely
Stop it!! Just get settled a bit.. We <3 you!
You got it! Yay! Happy Housewarming! Just in time to browse for neighbor booby traps.
Brilliant! "Amazon, show me 'bear traps'."
Thank you so much, CR. You're amazing.
Here's fucking hoping so, honey…