My answer is: I have not finished my coffee yet, young man. (But they both should be decent this week. Going with the Pats seems right since they are rested).
I would never survive west of the Mississippi. I would be that one weird mole person neighbor everyone gossips about, suspecting she is a vampire. Mountain and Pacific time are not made for night owls.
Dear Shel,
Should I play the Iggles D at home or the Chefs at home vs. da Bears? (I think I know the answer to this one).
(Trying to make 'Dear Shel' a thing…)
Well, now that I've finished going through the Pokemon Showdown salt mines of people who cry hax when they would have lost anyway, I guess it's football time.
So, it turned out he decided that his carpet was loose, so he nailed it all down (and my aunt was worried I might lose my security deposit if I put a hook on the wall!) I assume meth or some other drug was involved. Now, he wants me to help him market his rap album that is going to make him a SUPERSTAR! (Again, pudgy 30-year-old white dude.)
Get a router that can do dual band (at least). About a year ago, I bought an ac router, not the best but at least it has a 5ghz band. 2.4 is beyond crowded here.
When I got my internet installed a couple weeks ago, I, spoiled from FIOS, was astounded when the installation guy was like, "Yeah, we don't provide a router. You can rent one for this exorbitent fee" Bought one from Amazon in a panic that, just checked, I lucked out turns out is dual band (I am amazed, since it was really cheap).
Newt: In time you will forget the extra work you had to put it now to do the job right, but you will never forget having a doorway, wall and ceiling collapse on your head. I mean, you probably will, the EMTs and neurologist will explain to you what happened, but people will remind you all the time, forever.
Dear Kay Jewelers:
SInce when is October "Engagement Season"? Even if there was such a thing, why would it be in October? Are Halloween proposals a thing now or something? You're drunk, Kay. Go home.
░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▐
░░░░░░▄▄▄░░▄██▄
░░░░░▐▀█▀▌░░░░▀█▄
░░░░░▐█▄█▌░░░░░░▀█▄
░░░░░░▀▄▀░░░▄▄▄▄▄▀▀
░░░░▄▄▄██▀▀▀▀
░░░█▀▄▄▄█░▀▀
░░░▌░▄▄▄▐▌▀▀▀
▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN SPOOKED BY THE
▀█▌░░░▄░▀█▀░▀
░░░░░░░▄▄▐▌▄▄
░░░░░░░▀███▀█░▄
░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY SKILENTON
░░░░░░▐▀░░░░░░▐▌
░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░█
░░░░░▐▌░░░░░░░░░█
░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▐▌
Second half – another penalty for Japan converted 20-8.
Flip-flopping between this and stupid Bengals tied it vs Seahawks with last-second kick. Bah!
Penalty for USA converted 20-11.
Oh dear, cynical penalty given away and a yellow card for a US player (in the sin bin!)
… and Japan capitalise with a try.
Looks like no way back now, especially with a man down for 10 mins or so…
Nice try with a man down….25-18
I think Japan are tiring…
USA! USA!
(am I doing it right?)
Yep – quite a good well-natured crowd, were doing a back-and-forth "Nippon!" … "USA!" chant.
Excellent game. Shame the US couldn't quite get a win in the group stage… but then Japan have just become the first nation ever in the World Cup to register 3 wins out of 4 yet not progress to the knockout stages.
Stupid "bonus points" to favour the big nations. Oh well….
Bonus points? That sounds needlessly complicated, why not make point differential into a tiebreaker instead?
Because they want to encourage scoring of tries, instead of metronomic banging over of penalties.
It makes the games more interesting – even dead rubbers, as teams chase points right to the end. Of course, that swings the groups in favour of the bigger nations.
Mind you, Southern Hemisphere teams being allowed to chuck the ball forward, twist the scrums, and creep offside and 'anticipate' passes by opposition teams…. not that I'm bitter. But imagine the refs treating any Northern Hemisphere nation playing Australia, South Africa or New Zealand like they are the Oakland Raiders.
I guess there's some sense to that, though I'm not sure I like the side-effect of giving too much to the bigger nations. I guess there's no great solution to everything though, if it's making things interesting it's probably worth it.
Weird to have those get the favorable calls in a cup hosted by England.
It's much more fun to watch the smaller nations tbh. Scotland vs Samoa was a cracking match.
New Zealand are the best cheats. But they're also historically the biggest chokers. I expect South Africa and Australia to con their way to the final, but I'll have stopped watching by then.
Seems kind of similar to college basketball in a way: Duke-North Carolina can get kind of boring, but Belmont-Murray State? Sign me up.
Ooh yeah, basketball is the perfect allusion! Big teams/star players allowed to travel, get the flop/foul calls etc…
Hi everyone–I'm back after nearly melting at the Long Beach Half. The players will just love playing in Los Angeles in October if we do end up getting a team…
Going through Cutler's head as he throws winning TD: "I cannot let myself be cut or benched, because then I will have to watch my wife give birth in 2 weeks."
It's glorious. Fuck the Lions. Been a Lions fan my whole life and I can honestly say, I'm done trotting out there every Sunday and waiving a flag. They can go suck a tailpipe. I hope they die in a massive tire fire. I'm a Patriots fan now.
We've all chosen our teams anyway…. and only the noobs will be suckered into supporting the Jaguars, no matter how many games they play over here. A regular season game is still a game tho. Even with the Bills.
I took a mate to see Falcons v Lions last season and everyone had their jersey of choice on. It's nice to see a game in the flesh, but everyone accepts that it's pretty much being played in a neutral ground (no matter how high the Falcons or 'home' team du jour turn up the speakers at Wembley).
Also the International Series is good for me to be able to watch a game on tv when I'm over here, rather than *cough* accidentally coming across low-res feeds on the interwebs.
God bless the BBC, and it's a shame that Channel 5 (and 4) no longer have the rights to the Sunday late game, but there's no way I'm paying money to Rupert Murdoch. Fuck that prick.
Damn, this game is getting boring. I'd feel sorry for the Cowboys…if they weren't, you know, the Cowboys…
Thanks! I'm actually a bit surprised, your team is absolutely terrifying. Brady+Gronk+Lacy is a strong core (even if Lacy kind of forgot he had to play today)
I'm convinced that baby goats are actually more playful than puppies.
One thing I do like about Sunday Night Football is watching the players give a shout out to their alma maters. Though I always crack up over the fact that you have to call it "THE Ohio State University." Buckeyes could call their school "THE!" for short…
I do love that occasionally, Aaron Rodgers will shout out the junior college (Butte Community College, iirc) that he went to for a year before transferring.
Shel! Quick question: Should I play the Seahawks D/ST at Cincy or the Pats D/ST at Dallas?
My answer is: I have not finished my coffee yet, young man. (But they both should be decent this week. Going with the Pats seems right since they are rested).
Thanks! It's really weird being here where teh foo'ball games start at 10 o'clock in the freaking morning. It ain't right, I tells ya!
I would never survive west of the Mississippi. I would be that one weird mole person neighbor everyone gossips about, suspecting she is a vampire. Mountain and Pacific time are not made for night owls.
It's strange at first, but I got used to it. The flip side is that even when a night game goes into OT it doesn't make me lose sleep.
Well, unless my team loses, but I don't want to talk about tomorrow night…
I didn't even think of that.. Golden input! (really, we talked about it for awhile)
Dear Shel,
Should I play the Iggles D at home or the Chefs at home vs. da Bears? (I think I know the answer to this one).
(Trying to make 'Dear Shel' a thing…)
C'mon, you know what to do.
Well, now that I've finished going through the Pokemon Showdown salt mines of people who cry hax when they would have lost anyway, I guess it's football time.
Dear shel,
Tucson. Wednesday: Mostly sunny, with a high near 98.
WTF?!
Meanwhile in Ohio:
Friday Night: Partly cloudy, with a low around 39.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/u38g075319iiviq/2015-10…
My backyard, a balmy 65.
ETA: Screw it, i will never figure out how to insert images.
Looks like a good spot for wild raspberry bushes.
You haz?
Haven't looked yet. Good idea!
Has your neighbor been neutralized?
So, it turned out he decided that his carpet was loose, so he nailed it all down (and my aunt was worried I might lose my security deposit if I put a hook on the wall!) I assume meth or some other drug was involved. Now, he wants me to help him market his rap album that is going to make him a SUPERSTAR! (Again, pudgy 30-year-old white dude.)
So that's a 'no'.
White people who should rap:
-Eminem
-John Cena
Apparently he has not seen the list.
[I'm sorry]
That looks like the entertainment portion of the Republican National Convention.
VERY NSFW, from the 2012 RNC:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qaz0N-2LCZ0
MY EYES
MC 900 Ft. Jesus, also, too.
MC 900 FT Carpet
I respect Marshall Mathers and his flow, but goddamn, do you have to sound like a human cartoon while doing it?
He had too much trouble standing up to care about image.
He has GOT to put it on YTube!!!
People will be supportive and constructive.
You SUCK!
THIS IS THE WORST THING I'VE EVER HEARD.
SHOOT ME NOW.
BETTER YET, SHOOT YOURSELF!!
Is this how Nickelback started?
Definitely how they continued.
he needs to take it to where it's happenin. http://www.turnstylerecords.net/
98 here in Los Angeles as I type this. Running a half marathon in record breaking heat yet a-fucking-gain is tons of fun!
So the Bengals are hosting the Seahawks on FOX, so I won't get Green Bay.
Except they moved the Green Bay game to CBS.
But the Browns are at the Ravens on CBS, so I don't get them anyway, RIP.
Yeah, I have my choice of Browns/Ravens or Saints/Eagles, so I have on Redzone (PIP with TWD), with the Packers streaming (poorly) on my laptop.
And apparently the Aaron Rodgers home attempts without an interception streak just ended. Oh well, at least we didn't have to see it in HD.
Get a router that can do dual band (at least). About a year ago, I bought an ac router, not the best but at least it has a 5ghz band. 2.4 is beyond crowded here.
When I got my internet installed a couple weeks ago, I, spoiled from FIOS, was astounded when the installation guy was like, "Yeah, we don't provide a router. You can rent one for this exorbitent fee" Bought one from Amazon in a panic that, just checked, I lucked out turns out is dual band (I am amazed, since it was really cheap).
Update to this: I got two overtime games. Turned out to be okay after all.
Dear Shel: Should I install a new king-stud after widening this door-jamb, or remove the trimmer and the old ks and replace them with a 4"x4"?
Newt: In time you will forget the extra work you had to put it now to do the job right, but you will never forget having a doorway, wall and ceiling collapse on your head. I mean, you probably will, the EMTs and neurologist will explain to you what happened, but people will remind you all the time, forever.
Thanks. I found this article to be very helpful.
Dear Shel,
hi. 😀
I… I don't know how to answer that
Lambeau Leap!
Dear Shel:
Football is the one with the slightly oblong brown ball, correct?
Respectfully, Anthrope.
^
this fucking guy.. : )
It's like rugby, but interesting.
Aaron Rodgers goes that long without a home INT and then throws two in a half? wtf
The seal has been broken!
And it's cutting into Eddie's carry opportunities.
Feels like there's been a lot of players shitting the bed today.
Bugrit. Also millenium hand and shrimp.
Dear Kay Jewelers:
SInce when is October "Engagement Season"? Even if there was such a thing, why would it be in October? Are Halloween proposals a thing now or something? You're drunk, Kay. Go home.
░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▐
░░░░░░▄▄▄░░▄██▄
░░░░░▐▀█▀▌░░░░▀█▄
░░░░░▐█▄█▌░░░░░░▀█▄
░░░░░░▀▄▀░░░▄▄▄▄▄▀▀
░░░░▄▄▄██▀▀▀▀
░░░█▀▄▄▄█░▀▀
░░░▌░▄▄▄▐▌▀▀▀
▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN SPOOKED BY THE
▀█▌░░░▄░▀█▀░▀
░░░░░░░▄▄▐▌▄▄
░░░░░░░▀███▀█░▄
░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY SKILENTON
░░░░░░▐▀░░░░░░▐▌
░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░█
░░░░░▐▌░░░░░░░░░█
░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▐▌
Because making people feel insecure in order to make them buy things is TIMELESS!
Seachickens 24 – Bengal Puddytats 7 in Cinci?
Even the embittered among us in Steeler Nation approve this message.
ETA: FUCK!
Yo, Seahawks, the game goes 60 minutes.
ETA: Or even more minutes if you let the other team kick the tying FG with :01 left.
As a Packers fan, seeing the Seahawks do this greatly amuses me. (sorry weejee)
Indeed. Will Mr. Speaker Agent Orange be flipping the
birdcoin for the OT?Bengals win!
Marshawn who?
Plus Legion of Boom are up for it today…
Randall Cobb has scored only slightly more points than his lesser-known brother, Corn on the Cobb.
FWIW, almost double Travis Benjamin.
yeah, yesterday I noticed "the Boneyard' in the Nebraska stands.. shouldn't it be the 'Cornhole'?
Egg-chasing sub-thread:
Japan ahead 7-3 thanks to a lovely try.
Patient rucking, USA stretch the play and score a nice try out wide (failed conversion) 7-8
…. and Japan go right down the other end and do basically the same thing to the US (conversion good) 14-8
Good game!
…. and add a penalty 17-8
Second half – another penalty for Japan converted 20-8.
Flip-flopping between this and stupid Bengals tied it vs Seahawks with last-second kick. Bah!
Penalty for USA converted 20-11.
Oh dear, cynical penalty given away and a yellow card for a US player (in the sin bin!)
… and Japan capitalise with a try.
Looks like no way back now, especially with a man down for 10 mins or so…
Nice try with a man down….25-18
I think Japan are tiring…
USA! USA!
(am I doing it right?)
Yep – quite a good well-natured crowd, were doing a back-and-forth "Nippon!" … "USA!" chant.
Excellent game. Shame the US couldn't quite get a win in the group stage… but then Japan have just become the first nation ever in the World Cup to register 3 wins out of 4 yet not progress to the knockout stages.
Stupid "bonus points" to favour the big nations. Oh well….
Bonus points? That sounds needlessly complicated, why not make point differential into a tiebreaker instead?
Because they want to encourage scoring of tries, instead of metronomic banging over of penalties.
It makes the games more interesting – even dead rubbers, as teams chase points right to the end. Of course, that swings the groups in favour of the bigger nations.
Mind you, Southern Hemisphere teams being allowed to chuck the ball forward, twist the scrums, and creep offside and 'anticipate' passes by opposition teams…. not that I'm bitter. But imagine the refs treating any Northern Hemisphere nation playing Australia, South Africa or New Zealand like they are the Oakland Raiders.
I guess there's some sense to that, though I'm not sure I like the side-effect of giving too much to the bigger nations. I guess there's no great solution to everything though, if it's making things interesting it's probably worth it.
Weird to have those get the favorable calls in a cup hosted by England.
It's much more fun to watch the smaller nations tbh. Scotland vs Samoa was a cracking match.
New Zealand are the best cheats. But they're also historically the biggest chokers. I expect South Africa and Australia to con their way to the final, but I'll have stopped watching by then.
Seems kind of similar to college basketball in a way: Duke-North Carolina can get kind of boring, but Belmont-Murray State? Sign me up.
Ooh yeah, basketball is the perfect allusion! Big teams/star players allowed to travel, get the flop/foul calls etc…
Hi everyone–I'm back after nearly melting at the Long Beach Half. The players will just love playing in Los Angeles in October if we do end up getting a team…
I admire your running ability. You couldn't get me to run a half-marathon if I was being chased by a bear with a shotgun.
Seems like running would be better off in the winter in LA. Quite amazing to run that much in any weather, but that heat makes it ridiculous.
Maybe the NFL could take some pointers from FIFA and play any LA Raiders/Rams/Bolts home games during the winter.
Did they have spots where you could stop and smoke? If so, sign me up.
It's California. They hand you a vape and a glass of kale juice as you run by (I assume).
No, but there is a beer garden at the finish. Good enough?
Seems like that Willie Snead gamble paid off after all!
No kidding. Benjamin and Lacy barely 6 pts combined.
Just remember: You have Brady and Gronk still to play. You're not out of this.
Well there is that. I have 4 players in that game – 3 NE and one Cowpoker.
HA HA CLINTON-DIX!
Dear Shel,
What should a disappointed and disgruntled Pittsburgh sports fan do?
1. Head:desk repeatedly in the hope of developing amnesia?
2. Have ALL of the drinks and pass out and dream of happier years?
3. Get a root canal, knowing that it will be less painful than watching any of the games?
I’m leaving the obvious answer to you, Shel…
2, no question. It is never too early to start drinking.
I could have sworn you would have gone with "all of them Katie," but I like your suggestion better. Cheers!
Eww, I made a boneheaded grammatical error and now I can't edit it. I need to be more careful or people will think I'm a wingnut…
Omg, so I found the error and saw if I could fix it in the mod site and it actually worked!
Thanks honey!
Can you join the witness protection program and get a new team?
Going through Cutler's head as he throws winning TD: "I cannot let myself be cut or benched, because then I will have to watch my wife give birth in 2 weeks."
"And then I'll have to think about all the vaccines I won't give our child."
I would be excited about the fact that Baltimore is losing, if I weren't worried that Dem Dawgs will find a way to fuck this up….
Tie game, 25 seconds to go. Because the Browns.
Yes! Glad one of the teams that played an arch-rival won. #wtfseahawks
Hey, the Browns won! Yay!
Dammit, can't keep track this evening…. time to concentrate on the forward-pass version of football!
First time since Brian Sipe was QB.
Well choke my kielbasa!!
McCown now
12-13 as a starter.<img src="http://www.sptimes.com/2003/04/10/photos/nhl-lombarditrophy.jpg" width="200" height="200">
Josh McCown, with 41.5 points, is the current scoring leader. Josh McCown.
In honor of my RB Thomas Rawls, here's some Lou Rawls: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCW1i5HQ0o0
The SparkleKarens seem pretty good at running!
Yay!
Lions are in full self-destruct mode here!
The boo-birds are out in Detroit.
That's just what a Michigan accent sounds like.
Fuck you! I don't sound like that!
(do I sound like that?)
Of course not, boo.
It's glorious. Fuck the Lions. Been a Lions fan my whole life and I can honestly say, I'm done trotting out there every Sunday and waiving a flag. They can go suck a tailpipe. I hope they die in a massive tire fire. I'm a Patriots fan now.
Let's see, down 42.7 to 91 with one half plus 2 minutes. Mmmm. Brady to Gronk for twenty-two teen TDs to pull even?
Quoth the Raven, 1-4.
Quoth the Raven², 4-1 unless the Patriots go nutz in the last 5 minutes.
Bills vs Jaguars in London? Oh good–I was worried that the NFL wouldn't schedule another game at 6:30 AM Pacific time.
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTKdrUeUNtYPqPDCAUxRvkatEPiUVUxCjAjM-4sHNQeYEKe4kXZ">
We know you're all morning people anyway.
It's a terrible time for the US. Why else would they pick the Bills and Jaguars?
Because only the Brits could be fooled into thinking that will be an interesting game?
"Meh, we know how dull it will be–we'll use it as an excuse to get drunk and make fun of the yanks!"
– the Brits
We've all chosen our teams anyway…. and only the noobs will be suckered into supporting the Jaguars, no matter how many games they play over here. A regular season game is still a game tho. Even with the Bills.
I took a mate to see Falcons v Lions last season and everyone had their jersey of choice on. It's nice to see a game in the flesh, but everyone accepts that it's pretty much being played in a neutral ground (no matter how high the Falcons or 'home' team du jour turn up the speakers at Wembley).
Also the International Series is good for me to be able to watch a game on tv when I'm over here, rather than *cough* accidentally coming across low-res feeds on the interwebs.
God bless the BBC, and it's a shame that Channel 5 (and 4) no longer have the rights to the Sunday late game, but there's no way I'm paying money to Rupert Murdoch. Fuck that prick.
Damn, this game is getting boring. I'd feel sorry for the Cowboys…if they weren't, you know, the Cowboys…
<img src="http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/88/8837164a9d39d62db6aba05975f9f682126abb54086a9c014a7d91c22e80ef77.jpg">
All the upfists!
Congratulations to the Ohio Couchgoats.
<img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/266c7fJIR6tG0/giphy.gif" width="400">
Thanks! I'm actually a bit surprised, your team is absolutely terrifying. Brady+Gronk+Lacy is a strong core (even if Lacy kind of forgot he had to play today)
I'm convinced that baby goats are actually more playful than puppies.
One thing I do like about Sunday Night Football is watching the players give a shout out to their alma maters. Though I always crack up over the fact that you have to call it "THE Ohio State University." Buckeyes could call their school "THE!" for short…
"Jared Allen, Culinary Academy"
Ha! I've seen that and it's true!
I do love that occasionally, Aaron Rodgers will shout out the junior college (Butte Community College, iirc) that he went to for a year before transferring.
Smokey and I were just discussing, "What is 'The U' ." We're pretty sure it's the University of Miami.
Yes. I've seen it enough times to be sure.
Another favorite was "Ball So Hard University".
Wasn't there a guy who said "Hogwarts" or something like that?
Niners managed to take the lead with 1:45 left. Come the fuck on, San Francisco, please don't blow it: I'd like to be happy for one team at least…
ETA: FUCK!!!
Man, if he makes this kick, this is the week of OT/The Kicker, eh?
Whoops, too far out for a kick.
Can Joe Buck hype the Giants any harder? Yes, Joe. It's the greatest performance I've ever witnessed.
Calling him a jerk is probably the kindest thing anyone has said about him in the last 18 hours.
Typical Dodger.
That slide looked like he was aiming to hurt someone.
Suspended for two games, and the Dodgers fans are claiming it's unfair.
#somuchformakingthedodgersmysecondfavoritebaseballteam
A slide in name only. That was as dirty as any play I've seen.
Ty Cobb weeps…
Yeah, no shit.. He was a nasty ass. I read a biography a million years ago– sadly, I think he had four or five people at his funeral.
And they were only there to spit/piss in the casket.