Speaking of birds, so I was sitting in my dining room early this morning and suddenly my neighbor's chickens started squawking as if they feared for their lives, and right against my fence – wtf? I ran out there, and the neighbor's two fluffy dogs had cornered the rooster between the fence and an oak tree and the poor thing had nowhere to go. I tried to distract the dogs but they kept going back to the rooster.
So finally I rode my bike around the block and knocked on their door. They weren't home but the neighbor said they were away and let me in. I tried to find the rooster but he was nowhere to be found. But in the course of looking for him I found two other dead chickens, the tops of their little bodies completely torn off, and those two stupid dogs running around having the time of their lives. The other chickens were still in the coop looking very worried.
The neighbor put the dogs back in the front and closed the gate they'd opened and called the family, but holy Cthulhu, those cute little doggies are savages.
I now work on a small farm where I care for about 600 ducks. 200 lay eggs and the rest are meat ducks, 'processed' at about 4 months into pates, rillettes, rillons, prosciutto, and whole carcasses or breasts, sold at two farmers markets or to local restaurants in Austin. We get 100 day-old ducklings every two weeks and the laying ducks, a different breed, are kept until they're no longer profitable. BTW, there is no actual profitability in these types of farms; they're lifestyle choices. The mid-30s couple I work for are fantastic, hard-working people who love what they're doing and have already traveled the world and done great things. I'm a tired, old, worn-out printer who can't find work and have found refuge in farm and food work.
Each group of about 100 ducks has one goose in their pen as protection. The pens are made up of electrified nylon netting. We have Great Pyrenees dogs as the main protectors. They sleep all day and bark all night. The final security layer are firearms used to deal with skunks, raccoons, coyotes, or bobcats. We could use those on predators such as owls or hawks BUT THAT WOULD BREAK FEDERAL LAW.
I find animals to be much more enjoyable to be around than people although you need even more patience to deal with them. This type of operation allows animals to live their lives in relative comfort. They're protected from danger, supplied with organic food and well water, and most importantly allowed to live their lives in as natural a way as something raised for human consumption can be. We all deplore the conditions that commodity (mainstream) agriculture raises animals in but that is how things evolved and how the prices are kept low. I despise the idea of GMOs but without them millions of people in the near future will starve without the benefits of new plants that can resist salinity and wide temperature swings.
I just can't imagine any duck connected with an insurance company being anything except evil.
My mom was attacked by a goose once when she was a kid. That's all I got.
Except, also, once, when I was in college, I was wasting my time in a park alongside the Mississippi. There were a gaggle of Canadian geese there. This little girl, she couldn't have been more than 3 years old, started toddling towards the geese, saying, "Bir-duh! Bir-duh!" I feared for the poor girl's life as Canadian geese are known murderers. I gathered my druthers and prepared myself to intervene. The little girl kept heading into the gaggle of geese, shouting, "Bir-duh! Bir-duh!" I was, at this point, fully prepared to give my life to these murderous geese, in exchange for the young girl's life. Luckily, miraculously, the geese wanted nothing to do with this young interloper. They all squawked and waddled away back into the Mississippi. Lives were saved that day. I still consider that little girl a hero.
Please. The word "hero" is thrown about all too often nowadays. That little girl is the true heroine of this story. Her bravery, fearlessness, and ability to stand up to those murderous geese, who outstood her by inches and outwheighed her by pounds, she's the real hero here.
True story- a few years back we did a show for Sea-Doo at one of the resorts in Palm Springs. The next to the last night they did a watercraft demonstration on the small lake at the resort. They had a few pro riders zipping around at high speeds and one of them hit one of the resident swans with his jet ski. Very obviously killed it dead- cooked its goose, so to speak- it was its swan song. The next night at the awards banquet the emcee (known for his tequila drinking and bawdy sense of humor) launched into a routine mid dinner and casually dropped a bomb about what the main fowl course actually was. It was funny as hell to hear the sound of a thousand forks simultaneously being dropped onto plates as the entire room tried to decide if they should laugh or ouke…
P.S., OT, but is anyone else watching this Big 10 Championship game between the Iowegians and Michigan State? It's only 6-6 but it's quite good. If only the Fox common-taters would shut up. Oops. 9-6 now, MSU.
I just saw the craziest 4th quarter earlier today. State championship between Wayne and St. Edward, Wayne down 17 and scores 3 touchdowns in 3 minutes to go ahead with 3:50 to go, gives up a TD with 1:50 left, then the next kickoff was a squib kick that managed to bounce off a guy at the front of the formation and right back into the hands of one of the St. Edward players. Ended up 45-35.
Honestly you can't instill obeisance in a rescue dog immediately. It takes a lof time and trust, if the owners care and are willing. But yeah, I agree that chihuahuas are annoying as fuck. Perhaps they need the most care, because they are always shaking and pathetic. (sorry– I don't like teacup dogs. just get a cat FFS.)
I need to say I'm sorry to all the tiny dog pet parents out there, I sounded mean. Every dog that is loved is in a great place. I have a personal preference for medium/large doggies.
Yeah, I actually remember neighbors of ours in Levittown whose pit bulls got out and ripped a cat to death in front of their owner; they had to pay fines and construct something in their backyard to ensure nobody would be harmed again (this was the '80's!) One time, going to school I saw one of their dogs standing in the middle of the street, not moving, 'fuck you– this is my street' stance. I missed the bus that day. I went back inside the house. I was not fucking with that thing..
I once got challenged in my own yard by a pair of Rotts that belonged to the vacation homeowners across the road. I had shit to do, no time for that. I called animal control. They couldn't get there for hours. I told the dispatcher that would be fine, but the dogs would be fucking dead by then. Amazing how quickly they showed up!
It's a caterpillar.
Speaking of birds, so I was sitting in my dining room early this morning and suddenly my neighbor's chickens started squawking as if they feared for their lives, and right against my fence – wtf? I ran out there, and the neighbor's two fluffy dogs had cornered the rooster between the fence and an oak tree and the poor thing had nowhere to go. I tried to distract the dogs but they kept going back to the rooster.
So finally I rode my bike around the block and knocked on their door. They weren't home but the neighbor said they were away and let me in. I tried to find the rooster but he was nowhere to be found. But in the course of looking for him I found two other dead chickens, the tops of their little bodies completely torn off, and those two stupid dogs running around having the time of their lives. The other chickens were still in the coop looking very worried.
The neighbor put the dogs back in the front and closed the gate they'd opened and called the family, but holy Cthulhu, those cute little doggies are savages.
The smallest ones are the loudest. I had neighbors with 3 mini-chihuahuas for some reason and they would bark 24-7.
I now work on a small farm where I care for about 600 ducks. 200 lay eggs and the rest are meat ducks, 'processed' at about 4 months into pates, rillettes, rillons, prosciutto, and whole carcasses or breasts, sold at two farmers markets or to local restaurants in Austin. We get 100 day-old ducklings every two weeks and the laying ducks, a different breed, are kept until they're no longer profitable. BTW, there is no actual profitability in these types of farms; they're lifestyle choices. The mid-30s couple I work for are fantastic, hard-working people who love what they're doing and have already traveled the world and done great things. I'm a tired, old, worn-out printer who can't find work and have found refuge in farm and food work.
Each group of about 100 ducks has one goose in their pen as protection. The pens are made up of electrified nylon netting. We have Great Pyrenees dogs as the main protectors. They sleep all day and bark all night. The final security layer are firearms used to deal with skunks, raccoons, coyotes, or bobcats. We could use those on predators such as owls or hawks BUT THAT WOULD BREAK FEDERAL LAW.
I find animals to be much more enjoyable to be around than people although you need even more patience to deal with them. This type of operation allows animals to live their lives in relative comfort. They're protected from danger, supplied with organic food and well water, and most importantly allowed to live their lives in as natural a way as something raised for human consumption can be. We all deplore the conditions that commodity (mainstream) agriculture raises animals in but that is how things evolved and how the prices are kept low. I despise the idea of GMOs but without them millions of people in the near future will starve without the benefits of new plants that can resist salinity and wide temperature swings.
I just can't imagine any duck connected with an insurance company being anything except evil.
That actually sounds like just about the most thoughtful way that humans can raise poultry. As humane as possible.
My mom was attacked by a goose once when she was a kid. That's all I got.
Except, also, once, when I was in college, I was wasting my time in a park alongside the Mississippi. There were a gaggle of Canadian geese there. This little girl, she couldn't have been more than 3 years old, started toddling towards the geese, saying, "Bir-duh! Bir-duh!" I feared for the poor girl's life as Canadian geese are known murderers. I gathered my druthers and prepared myself to intervene. The little girl kept heading into the gaggle of geese, shouting, "Bir-duh! Bir-duh!" I was, at this point, fully prepared to give my life to these murderous geese, in exchange for the young girl's life. Luckily, miraculously, the geese wanted nothing to do with this young interloper. They all squawked and waddled away back into the Mississippi. Lives were saved that day. I still consider that little girl a hero.
You are an American and/or Canadian Hero.
He really is.. his ancestry is all viking-like and mine is all shartin' marinara sauce in your zubaz and being a general asshole about things.
Please. The word "hero" is thrown about all too often nowadays. That little girl is the true heroine of this story. Her bravery, fearlessness, and ability to stand up to those murderous geese, who outstood her by inches and outwheighed her by pounds, she's the real hero here.
A Møøse once bit my sister… Also too, geese are vicious little bastards
Does ending with oose make an animal an asshole? Goose, moose…
A caboose is a euphemism for asshole.
(I'm great at pictionary)
My best friend's goose killed his dachshund when we were kids. Very nasti.
Maybe it's a swan!
|It's a swan.|
True story- a few years back we did a show for Sea-Doo at one of the resorts in Palm Springs. The next to the last night they did a watercraft demonstration on the small lake at the resort. They had a few pro riders zipping around at high speeds and one of them hit one of the resident swans with his jet ski. Very obviously killed it dead- cooked its goose, so to speak- it was its swan song. The next night at the awards banquet the emcee (known for his tequila drinking and bawdy sense of humor) launched into a routine mid dinner and casually dropped a bomb about what the main fowl course actually was. It was funny as hell to hear the sound of a thousand forks simultaneously being dropped onto plates as the entire room tried to decide if they should laugh or ouke…
P.S., OT, but is anyone else watching this Big 10 Championship game between the Iowegians and Michigan State? It's only 6-6 but it's quite good. If only the Fox common-taters would shut up. Oops. 9-6 now, MSU.
I just saw the craziest 4th quarter earlier today. State championship between Wayne and St. Edward, Wayne down 17 and scores 3 touchdowns in 3 minutes to go ahead with 3:50 to go, gives up a TD with 1:50 left, then the next kickoff was a squib kick that managed to bounce off a guy at the front of the formation and right back into the hands of one of the St. Edward players. Ended up 45-35.
I've been flipping back and forth between it, Clemson and my Trojans losing to Stanford
this has turned into a monster game
Honestly you can't instill obeisance in a rescue dog immediately. It takes a lof time and trust, if the owners care and are willing. But yeah, I agree that chihuahuas are annoying as fuck. Perhaps they need the most care, because they are always shaking and pathetic. (sorry– I don't like teacup dogs. just get a cat FFS.)
I need to say I'm sorry to all the tiny dog pet parents out there, I sounded mean. Every dog that is loved is in a great place. I have a personal preference for medium/large doggies.
Yeah, I actually remember neighbors of ours in Levittown whose pit bulls got out and ripped a cat to death in front of their owner; they had to pay fines and construct something in their backyard to ensure nobody would be harmed again (this was the '80's!) One time, going to school I saw one of their dogs standing in the middle of the street, not moving, 'fuck you– this is my street' stance. I missed the bus that day. I went back inside the house. I was not fucking with that thing..
I once got challenged in my own yard by a pair of Rotts that belonged to the vacation homeowners across the road. I had shit to do, no time for that. I called animal control. They couldn't get there for hours. I told the dispatcher that would be fine, but the dogs would be fucking dead by then. Amazing how quickly they showed up!