a woman, 26, had pushed a shopping cart full of items into the store's foyer – past the doorway's theft-detecting sensors – and then abandoned the cart to retrieve more items from the aisles
See, that's what happens when you don't make a list first.
Yeah, I did that in the '90s–strolled on out with a bunch of shit. I bit and kicked the guy (store clerk) who apprehended me and then the cops swarmed the place (honestly, where did they come from?!!). Let's just say it's kind of embarrassing to have a cop's knee in your back, OBs in your shorts, and some whole bean coffee all over the place, that you smell because your face is on the concrete at a fucking Kroger.
(It was like 20 years ago– I was on tons of SSRIs and alcohol–no excuse).
Yeah, anyway, don't bite people.
No no, we need to be scientific about this. We know that biting alone doesn't work, and that biting preceded by flashing doesn't work. The next trial needs to involve biting followed by flashing.
It's tough when you don't have any support. I lived in a shelter for awhile, under-bunk bitches tried to steal my shit (my eyes! my contacts were in the bag!) Yeah, anyway I was propositioned a few times when I was walking back to/from CASS. Flashing doesn't work.
(Sorry, nobody wants to hear that, but whatfuckingever.)
I'm sure it was never something stupid for you. (Arranging your underage beers haphazardly? Farting on a date during a King Crimson concert?)
One Example:
[busted, underage in The Cem(itary), favorite hangout for stupid behavior] Officer: "What's yer name, boy?"
Me: "Oh, well, they often call me speedo but my real name is Mister Earl."
He didn't even get the joke, but it did earn me a stupid handle for the rest of Jr High.
Don't bite people
Well, then how are we supposed to know whether they taste good or not?
via consumerist.com
(no pics)
Thank you.
See, that's what happens when you don't make a list first.
Just surprised she didn't viddy the whole thing and upload it to Facebook.
Yeah, I did that in the '90s–strolled on out with a bunch of shit. I bit and kicked the guy (store clerk) who apprehended me and then the cops swarmed the place (honestly, where did they come from?!!). Let's just say it's kind of embarrassing to have a cop's knee in your back, OBs in your shorts, and some whole bean coffee all over the place, that you smell because your face is on the concrete at a fucking Kroger.
(It was like 20 years ago– I was on tons of SSRIs and alcohol–no excuse).
Yeah, anyway, don't bite people.
Apparently, flashing doesn't work either. Good to know.
No no, we need to be scientific about this. We know that biting alone doesn't work, and that biting preceded by flashing doesn't work. The next trial needs to involve biting followed by flashing.
Any kleptomaniac volunteers?
We need to set up a double-blind test, to correct for bias. I'll be the blind guy.
It's tough when you don't have any support. I lived in a shelter for awhile, under-bunk bitches tried to steal my shit (my eyes! my contacts were in the bag!) Yeah, anyway I was propositioned a few times when I was walking back to/from CASS. Flashing doesn't work.
(Sorry, nobody wants to hear that, but whatfuckingever.)
No prob, and no apologies needed. Bet we've all seen some hard road, just different ones.
I'd be the Clouseau of criminals – I always got caught and it was always something really stupid.
I'm sure it was never something stupid for you. (Arranging your underage beers haphazardly? Farting on a date during a King Crimson concert?)
One Example:
[busted, underage in The Cem(itary), favorite hangout for stupid behavior]
Officer: "What's yer name, boy?"
Me: "Oh, well, they often call me speedo but my real name is Mister Earl."
He didn't even get the joke, but it did earn me a stupid handle for the rest of Jr High.
Don't bite people
Well, then how are we supposed to know whether they taste good or not?
Blue confirmed zombie
Is Devouring still OK? Asking for a friend.