Please take a moment for our short survey, to help us evaluate this featured article. Thanks!

1. My reaction to this article was:
a) What
b) What the Fuck
c) Seriously, What the fuck?
d) Oh For Fuck's Sake
e) Cool

2. "Competitive Endurance Tickling"?
a) No
b) No Fucking Way
c) Are you Insane? Fuck No!
d) Well maybe. But not with these guys
e) Can I watch?

3) I feel that The Guardian:
a) Is on the forefront of today's important social trend news.
b) Is on my shit list for making me aware of this.

4) When I think about this article I:
a) Shudder
b) Wince
c) Cry
d) Pour out another shot
e) Touch myself

5. Nightmare Material?
a) Yes
b) No
c) At least there's no Clowns involved.
d) There aren't any Clowns involved, are they?
e) * Sobs quietly*

BONUS QUESTION:
Fill in the blank: "I'm having the weirdest________"

wat