A
Oh
They [C] caught her at the Tuscarawas border
In a [Am] stolen Ford Explorer
it was a[ F] high speed pursuit
of a [ Em ]woman in her [F] birthday [D7] suit
she was [C ] headed for [ G ] someplace [C] warmer B
Starrrrrrrrrrrrk [C]naked in Stark [C7]County
Not in [F]San Diego or [F7]Maui
her [C]temperature too [Cdim]hot
doffed her [G]clothes to cool [A] off
Her [G]mug shot is a all [C] smiley
May be part of a long ballad song that will include other stories that have been sitting in the 'possible lyrics' folder :
– Stolen ambulance………A blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins. (The Ballad of Stefan Sortland )
-Jason Puckett, 44, was charged with retail theft after he placed 6.5 pounds of cow tongue inside his pants and then left the store….
Call it "Jason, Stefan and Shel "
Also, [this] is a chase I was tangentially involved in. About a mile past where the chase ended, I had set up a roadblock. Maybe you can eke some lyrics out of a samurai sword wielding kid hijacking a school bus…
I dunno. I'm mostly prone to stick with stuff to make light of. Hard to do with potential school bombings.
I lack the depth to write about the really tragic.
First one was easy, second one kind of clunky fitting into the same scheme
STEFAN
The C ambulance was tracked to Loveland
Am apprehension near at hand
It had F heavy front end damage
Em due to F the D7 brigandage
and C lotsa G fluids C leaking
Grannnnnnnnnd [C] theft in [C7] Colorado
they [F]tased the [F7] desperado
[C] ecstacy and [Cdim] cocaine
[G] box of Wheat Thins [A] to sustain
He [G] fapped because he[C] had to.
JASON
Down [C] near where Daytona is held
[Am]Jason he was truly impelled
To [F]stick some meat down in his pants
Due to[ Em] Lack of [F ]finance or[ D7]romance
But [ C ]Officers noted his[G] package had[C]swelled///
Peeeetit [C]theft in Volusia[C7]County
Though the [F] take was kinda [F7]scanty
[C]$35 dollars of [Cdim] cow tongue
[G]about it we have[A] sung///
But the [G]tune is over [C] finally.
♪ ♫ ♪ ♪ ♫ ♪
Weren't no Sandy Hook or Columbine
This one was a different kind
Just a kid with a samurai sword
and a couple of pounds of C-4
[nah, don't think it'll really go over too well ]
Workin on it.
♪ ♫ ♪ ♪ ♫ ♪
Meth. It's a helluva drug.
A
Oh
They [C] caught her at the Tuscarawas border
In a [Am] stolen Ford Explorer
it was a[ F] high speed pursuit
of a [ Em ]woman in her [F] birthday [D7] suit
she was [C ] headed for [ G ] someplace [C] warmer
B
Starrrrrrrrrrrrk [C]naked in Stark [C7]County
Not in [F]San Diego or [F7]Maui
her [C]temperature too [Cdim]hot
doffed her [G]clothes to cool [A] off
Her [G]mug shot is a all [C] smiley
May be part of a long ballad song that will include other stories that have been sitting in the 'possible lyrics' folder :
– Stolen ambulance………A blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins. (The Ballad of Stefan Sortland )
-Jason Puckett, 44, was charged with retail theft after he placed 6.5 pounds of cow tongue inside his pants and then left the store….
Call it "Jason, Stefan and Shel "
Fuckin' Florida Man! That's one way to get a tongue bath, I suppose.
The rest reminds me of [this.]
That was one of those instant classics .
Also, [this] is a chase I was tangentially involved in. About a mile past where the chase ended, I had set up a roadblock. Maybe you can eke some lyrics out of a samurai sword wielding kid hijacking a school bus…
I dunno. I'm mostly prone to stick with stuff to make light of. Hard to do with potential school bombings.
I lack the depth to write about the really tragic.
First one was easy, second one kind of clunky fitting into the same scheme
STEFAN
The C ambulance was tracked to Loveland
Am apprehension near at hand
It had F heavy front end damage
Em due to F the D7 brigandage
and C lotsa G fluids C leaking
Grannnnnnnnnd [C] theft in [C7] Colorado
they [F]tased the [F7] desperado
[C] ecstacy and [Cdim] cocaine
[G] box of Wheat Thins [A] to sustain
He [G] fapped because he[C] had to.
JASON
Down [C] near where Daytona is held
[Am]Jason he was truly impelled
To [F]stick some meat down in his pants
Due to[ Em] Lack of [F ]finance or[ D7]romance
But [ C ]Officers noted his[G] package had[C]swelled///
Peeeetit [C]theft in Volusia[C7]County
Though the [F] take was kinda [F7]scanty
[C]$35 dollars of [Cdim] cow tongue
[G]about it we have[A] sung///
But the [G]tune is over [C] finally.
From where I stood, it was pretty darned hilarious! Nobody hurt, no earth shattering kabooms…
♪ ♫ ♪ ♪ ♫ ♪
Weren't no Sandy Hook or Columbine
This one was a different kind
Just a kid with a samurai sword
and a couple of pounds of C-4
[nah, don't think it'll really go over too well ]