12 thoughts on “Stark Naked County, Ohio

  1. A
    Oh
    They [C] caught her at the Tuscarawas border
    In a [Am] stolen Ford Explorer
    it was a[ F] high speed pursuit
    of a [ Em ]woman in her [F] birthday [D7] suit
    she was [C ] headed for [ G ] someplace [C] warmer
    B

    Starrrrrrrrrrrrk [C]naked in Stark [C7]County
    Not in [F]San Diego or [F7]Maui
    her [C]temperature too [Cdim]hot
    doffed her [G]clothes to cool [A] off
    Her [G]mug shot is a all [C] smiley

    May be part of a long ballad song that will include other stories that have been sitting in the 'possible lyrics' folder :
    – Stolen ambulance………A blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins. (The Ballad of Stefan Sortland )
    -Jason Puckett, 44, was charged with retail theft after he placed 6.5 pounds of cow tongue inside his pants and then left the store….
    Call it "Jason, Stefan and Shel "

    1. Also, [this] is a chase I was tangentially involved in. About a mile past where the chase ended, I had set up a roadblock. Maybe you can eke some lyrics out of a samurai sword wielding kid hijacking a school bus…

      1. I dunno. I'm mostly prone to stick with stuff to make light of. Hard to do with potential school bombings.
        I lack the depth to write about the really tragic.

    2. First one was easy, second one kind of clunky fitting into the same scheme
      STEFAN
      The C ambulance was tracked to Loveland
      Am apprehension near at hand
      It had F heavy front end damage
      Em due to F the D7 brigandage
      and C lotsa G fluids C leaking

      Grannnnnnnnnd [C] theft in [C7] Colorado
      they [F]tased the [F7] desperado
      [C] ecstacy and [Cdim] cocaine
      [G] box of Wheat Thins [A] to sustain
      He [G] fapped because he[C] had to.

      1. JASON
        Down [C] near where Daytona is held
        [Am]Jason he was truly impelled
        To [F]stick some meat down in his pants
        Due to[ Em] Lack of [F ]finance or[ D7]romance
        But [ C ]Officers noted his[G] package had[C]swelled///

        Peeeetit [C]theft in Volusia[C7]County
        Though the [F] take was kinda [F7]scanty
        [C]$35 dollars of [Cdim] cow tongue
        [G]about it we have[A] sung///
        But the [G]tune is over [C] finally.

    1. ♪ ♫ ♪ ♪ ♫ ♪
      Weren't no Sandy Hook or Columbine
      This one was a different kind
      Just a kid with a samurai sword
      and a couple of pounds of C-4
      [nah, don't think it'll really go over too well ]

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