16 thoughts on “Oh Christ, It’s Groundhog Day Again”
Sources have long presented conflicting information on the groundhog’s accuracy.
What, anonymous "sources" now?
Phil’s official website claims he has “of course” issued a correct forecast 100 percent of the time. But NOAA’s National Centers for Environmental Information notes that Phil’s forecasts have shown “no predictive skill” in recent years.
FAKE NEWS FORECAST
AccuWeather finds the rodent has an 80 percent accuracy rate.
"Accuweather". Rick Santorum's favorite Fake Forecast Site.
PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA—According to sources, clinically depressed groundhog and weather prognosticator Punxsutawney Phil awoke from his slumber this early morning, peered directly into his soul, and saw but a mere pathetic shadow of the rodent he once was. “My God, is this who I am now? Is this what I’ve become?” the melancholy animal told reporters, staring hopelessly out onto the pale morning light outside his pen. “There was a time when my world was spring eternal, bright and without gloom. But that was a lifetime ago, I’m afraid.” The downcast rodent then sighed, lifted himself from his urine-soaked confines, and mustered the strength to perform his “little song and dance” for excited locals.
2/2 is also Candlemas, commemorating the day when the Virgin Mary had stopped bleeding from her wherever long enough to be allowed near the temple again. Moses and Trump apparently had stuff in common.
And then there's the Pagan cross-quarter angle, wherein this is the first day of Spring. Hooray!
Sources have long presented conflicting information on the groundhog’s accuracy.
What, anonymous "sources" now?
Phil’s official website claims he has “of course” issued a correct forecast 100 percent of the time. But NOAA’s National Centers for Environmental Information notes that Phil’s forecasts have shown “no predictive skill” in recent years.
FAKE
NEWSFORECASTAccuWeather finds the rodent has an 80 percent accuracy rate.
"Accuweather". Rick Santorum's favorite Fake Forecast Site.
Hey, the Accuweather app on my phone tells me it's gonna start raining in 94 minutes. How's that for a commitment?
Screw it, I'm leaving for the desert in a minute.
Phil, AccuWeather and Santorum are all people (too, my friend) from Pennsylvania.
Coincidence?!
The weatherman on Austin TV said Phil only has a 36% accuracy rate. Teach the controversy!!
Hey, if you can't trust an ancient Germanic folk augury that involves brandishing a huge subterranean rodent once every year, just what can you trust?
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords?
<img src="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CMQg06kUwAAsFws.jpg">
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I will eat some pork sausages tonight, because they're ground hog.
Excellent 'shop on the hed image.
Thanks!
<img src="http://img.pandawhale.com/143798-incredible-gif-Imgur-andie-mac-nuep.gif" width="400" height="400">
Well, it was 82 yesterday and today the high won't hit 60 so maybe the rodent is onto something.
We're getting rain tonight and on Monday, so quite possibly.
PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA—According to sources, clinically depressed groundhog and weather prognosticator Punxsutawney Phil awoke from his slumber this early morning, peered directly into his soul, and saw but a mere pathetic shadow of the rodent he once was. “My God, is this who I am now? Is this what I’ve become?” the melancholy animal told reporters, staring hopelessly out onto the pale morning light outside his pen. “There was a time when my world was spring eternal, bright and without gloom. But that was a lifetime ago, I’m afraid.” The downcast rodent then sighed, lifted himself from his urine-soaked confines, and mustered the strength to perform his “little song and dance” for excited locals.
2/2 is also Candlemas, commemorating the day when the Virgin Mary had stopped bleeding from her wherever long enough to be allowed near the temple again. Moses and Trump apparently had stuff in common.
And then there's the Pagan cross-quarter angle, wherein this is the first day of Spring. Hooray!
@ALT PHIL