28 thoughts on “Pus-Filled Hemorrhoid Wakes, Is Asshole

  1. Donnie, when your normal excuses are hopelessly inadequate, don't tweet them yourself, send Kellyanne out to make them. That way you will look more presidential, bigly, believe me.

    1. He'll want to put up a hotel there, after he or some crony gets the contract for cleaning up the UXO. Jared's probably filing the papers of Kushner Environmental LLC right now.

        1. From WH CoS John Kelly
          To Sec Def James Mattis
          Confidential

          Jim

          POTUS has asked me to direct you to recall Lt Gen Russel Honore (Ret) to active duty with a view (I believe) to very publicly demoting and cashiering him. I replied that this action must go through your office to Acting SECARMY McCarthy, CSA Milley, and others, using 10 U.S. Code § 688, unless Honore retired under 688 exceptions, etc.

          At this point POTUS became somewhat distracted by a ketchup stain on his tie, accidentally pushed the Bring Me a Diet Coke button, and flew into a purple-faced rage, ordering everyone out of the Oval and yelling "I mean it about that Honore fucker!"

          In any case, see what you can do to slow-walk this recall thing and hopefully POTUS will forget about it while we get this relief op rolling. Jesus, we've really made a faustian bargain for the ages, haven't we?

          Many thanks,
          John

  2. “Actually, I was asking for help,” she said. “I wasn’t saying anything nasty about the president.”

    Sorry, Madame Mayor, but by not kissing his ass you were insulting him. New rule since Donald became POTUS!

  3. Indeed, a fearless human, with a strong commitment to public service.

    In other words, the opposite of cowardly sack of pus DOTUS.

  4. And a reminder that when everything floods like that, the sewage treatment plant overflows into the floodwater, contaminating it with everything that went down the toilet. So she's wading through sewage.

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