89 thoughts on “French Man

      1. This is so all over Twitter. Bret Stephens is such a brittle dolt. Someone should explain the Streisand effect to him.

        Also too, Simon so has a point. Poor widdle Bret is sad because he got called a bedbug.

    1. Twitter is so so dragging Stephens:

      Helen Rosner
      @hels
      ·
      44m
      Can you imagine being a sullen tween and your dad brings a guy home specifically so the guy can call your dad a bedbug in front of you, and your dad just courteously says “thank you, enjoy your evening,” how sick would that be, truly exceptional & validating parenting
      Show more replies

      Helen Rosner
      @hels
      ·
      41m
      Replying to
      @hels
      “Ha ha! I’ve thrown my spouse and children in front of me as human shields, who’s the loathsome insect now????”

      Angus Johnston
      @studentactivism
      ·
      13m
      "Bring your girlfriend! Ha ha ha ha!"

      Sandra Newman
      @sannewman
      ·
      22m
      Am I the only one that could not stop imagining a steaming angry bedbug typing this by jumping from key to key?

        1. andi zeisler
          @andizeisler
          ·
          2h
          Maybe Bret Stephens would stop denying climate change if he found out that it caused his skin to become perilously thin

    2. This is all gold, it just never stops:

      mollyswordmcdonough­čîŐ
      @mollysmcdonough
      ·
      1m
      Replying to
      @ParkerMolloy
      Nixon: “I am not a crook!”

      Trump: “I am not a racist!”

      Bret Stephens: “I am not a bedbug!”

      Jamison Foser
      @jamisonfoser
      ·
      1h
      Replying to
      @jamisonfoser
      Attention, Internet:

      @BretStephensNYT
      ’s nickname is “Bedbug” now.

      Thank you for your attention to this matter.

      Jamison Foser
      @jamisonfoser
      ·
      1h
      Bretbug
      @BretStephensNYT
      , I have another update. Please note, however, that I do not make the hashtags.
      Quote Tweet

      Andrew Corsello
      @AndrewCorsello
      · 1h
      Replying to @jamisonfoser and @BretStephensNYT
      #BretBug

      Jamison Foser
      @jamisonfoser
      ·
      33m
      man I’m on the west coast. by the time I get to Bret’s house to call him a bedbug in front of his kids there’s gonna be a line around the block.
      Quote Tweet

      Don Moynihan
      @donmoyn
      ·
      3m
      Replying to
      @ParkerMolloy
      "My efforts to start in a civil dialogue with critics- including an invitation to my beautiful home – were met with predictable venom by the Twitter Robespierres"

      Ron Hogan
      @RonHogan
      ·
      5m
      Replying to
      @ParkerMolloy
      Headlined “I AM NOT A BEDBUG”

      1. I am not a bedbug! I am not an animal! I am a human being! I … am … a … man!

        [apologies to John Merrick, who, as far as I can tell, was ten times the human that BS is ]

          1. It's a tsumami. I want to go to bed but I am afraid I"ll miss all the good stuff by tomorrow morning.

          2. haha:

            David M. Perry
            @Lollardfish
            ·
            3h
            Bret Stephens, defender of academic freedom, emails a professor who mocked him and CCs his provost. Also Bret is in fact several billion bedbugs is a trench coat.

          3. lolol:

            dinomite
            @d1nomite
            Replying to
            @JeremyKritz
            and
            @davekarpf
            Someone just approached Bret Stephens in an airport to tell him that the problem with America today is people calling Bret Stephens a bedbug

          4. OMG the name:

            30-50 feral bedbugs
            @ctrlaltsecrete
            ·
            3h
            Replying to
            @TheWolfe40

            @chick_in_kiev
            and 2 others
            So wait, I can go to Bret Stephens’ house, call him a bedbug *in front of his family* and they will cook me dinner? This is a highly specific fetish I didn’t know I had until just now

  1. Michael Tannenbaum @iamTannenbaum

    911 OPERATOR: what’s your emergency?

    BRET STEPHENS:

    911 OPERATOR: Bret I swear to Christ this better not be about twitter…

    BRET STEPHENS: *hangs up the phone*

  2. Owen Ellickson @onlxn

    same rule for me: if you’ve ever mocked me online, please go have dinner at Bret Stephens’s house

    1. This has been an amazing time. Thank you for your service.

      Later, will try to find a clip if this is true.

      2h
      Replying to
      @MikeDrucker
      He's all on MSNBC whining about it now!

      1. I love how right at the very end he gives a toss-off comment saying that people calling other people insects is a precursor to totalitarianism. First of all that's pretty cowardly of him to just say it as the interview is clearly ending when he can't be challenged, and secondly, somewhere online today I found a link to an article he wrote where he called Palestinians mosquitoes trapped in amber, that people should no longer be interested in. He literally called them mosquitoes. I really would love to see the NYT demote him. He adds nothing positive to the marketplace of ideas.

    1. I love the condescension baked into Bretbug's invitation. I hope he appreciates the condescension when its turned around back at him but I doubt he does. When it's turned around back at him then he generalizes it all into "Twitter is a sewer."

    1. "My boss dragged me out of my hiding place. Now I have to put up with all you sewer rats even though I am a superior being."

    2. {{TheDoctorisin}}}
      @Wdenemy
      ·
      1h
      Replying to
      @bretstephensNY
      Meaning "The remarkable nature of my over-reaction to a relatively innocuous criticism, and subsequent, absurd attempts to justify it were pointed out to me as possibly having repercussions?"

    3. I'm beginning to think this is a parody account, if you read some of the responses "Bret Stephens" gives the commenters.

    1. Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein
      Replying to @GWtweets

      all you had to do was post a bedbug joke and be on with your day, how did you fuck this up??

          1. Sure, but imagine how much nicer the world would be if more people would just make a bedbug joke and move on.

    1. I’m not calling him a bedbug. I’m calling him a metaphorical bedbug. And he knows that, because there’s only two sentences in the joke, and one of them says, “This is a metaphor.”

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