28 thoughts on “The Terrible Cost of Literary Cephalophilia

  1. Florida Man creates cryptozoological festival out of whole cloth as a prank, which gets wildly out of hand. This only endears me to him more.

    The festival starts with a parade through town, after which the Mayfly Squid Queen in her glowing tiara, flashing neon dress, and her special clear-plastic, hollow platform shoes goes out onto the lake in a special squid boat.

    Do go on…

    Have I mentioned her shoes are filled with squid?

    OF COURSE THEY ARE

    Once on the lake, the Mayfly Squid Queen releases the squid from her shoes into the water. Just in time for the mating season.

    As one does.

    While back on shore, the celebration has already started: Drunk tourists wearing squid hats while eating squid ink ice cream. Keeping chiropractors in business by allowing themselves to be wrenched around for five minutes at a time on squid-shaped amusement rides.

    This is all good and I think that what the Chesapeake needs is a good old-fashioned | Brief Squid | Festival. Perhaps coinciding with Cephalopodmas. A Brief Squid Festival has the obvious benefit of being based upon an actual species.

    I am on this. Pretty sure I can talk | Eastport | into it.

  2. NBC10 Philadelphia
    @NBCPhiladelphia
    · 3h
    Well, this is a bit awkward. COVID-19 may cause long-term erectile dysfunction in men. Yet another reason to heed public health advice as the coronavirus continues to spread. http://on.nbc10.com/KkxOXBL

    ///////////////////////////////

    Kashana
    @kashanacauley
    So excited that we’re going to have a cure for this in like, twenty seconds.

          1. Cancel Culture Club song ideas

            Bedbugs and Ballyhoo
            Halperin me, Rhonda
            Toobin (on a monday afternoon)

  3. The two chambers of the Arizona state legislature will suspend their work this week after former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani tested positive for the coronavirus less than a week after spending hours testifying in front of Republican legislators in a futile bid to overturn the state’s election results.
    https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/528990-a

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