Let me just tip confidently back in my steel folding chair, slick back my gray hair and look again at Quday's statement with my presbyopic blue eyes: yes, it is utter horseshit. And there is no newspaper in America more experienced at shamelessly purveying horseshit than the Colorado Springs Gazette-Pornograph.

It's probably not easy to admit your father is a terrible person, and even harder when he pays you lavishly to pretend otherwise.