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Football: Must Be Vodka’s Birthday Because the Lions Cannot Lose Today

138 thoughts on “Football: Must Be Vodka’s Birthday Because the Lions Cannot Lose Today

  1. I'm housesitting at my aunt & uncle's in NJ, and they have this awesome huge flatscreen, but their cable is only showing 2 games today — Jets-Giants now and Eagles-Patriots at 4. I have to watch Seahawks-Vikings on my tablet (yay for Dish Anywhere).

  2. Odell Beckham Jr has frosted blond tips. I find the return of this trend disturbing. Did we learn nothing from Justin Timberlake's ramen hair?

    1. I cannot WAIT to see that game. It will be nice to see a movie that involves football and my hometown–here's hoping it's good.

  3. This Jaguars-Titans game is hilarious. 42-39 with 6:28 to go. Both teams have scored 3 touchdowns in the 4th so far.

  4. So, I missed the AM games (I keep trying to schedule my long runs for Saturday and my schedule keeps finding ways to fuck that up.) I've got Denver @ San Diego or Carolina @ New Orleans, which will come on whenever the Niners – Bears game ends–

    –holy shit, San Francisco just found a way to win! It's a miracle of God!

    1. On that last play, the Bears safety looked like he couldn't be bothered to do a last-ditch tackle.

      Probably wanted to put us out of our misery of the ensuing pooch kick FG/sloppy snap/interception, followed by the Bears defender tripping on the halfway line and tearing his ACL, etc…etc…

    1. If that was a photoshop, I'd have said, "Nah, that's ridiculous."

      ETA: Heh, someone in the Deadspin comments suggested this as the illustration for Mansplaining,

  5. Ah, yes, NFL on Fox: December 6, a day that will live in infamy. Just like September 10 will always mean so much to every American. NEVER FORGET (but feel free to estimate).

  6. In proper football, Portland Timbers ahead 2-0 after 8 minutes.

    Columbus pulled a goal back – very scrappy and pell-mell, but exciting for it.

    Plus the referee is letting them play and ignoring any rolling around on the floor crying. Which is nice.

        1. Timbers win 2-1.
          Portland hit the crossbar a couple of times in the second half, but the Columbus Crew didn't really have any bite themselves up front.
          I don't like this weird "MLS Cup" format, but I suppose it mirrors the whole Superbowl of World Series winner-take-all thing, even if you didn't win your conference in the regular season.
          Plus no relegation or promotion.

          Stupid american socialist sportsball!

  7. Er. FOX' halftime show is being broadcast from Pearl Harbor?

    Yeah, I know the anniversary of that event is tomorrow, but this just feels like a PR stunt more than anything else. I'd be more impressed if FOX Sports donated to a veteran's group or something…

    1. It's so random, too.
      "Hey, let's do a big extravaganza celebrating the anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor!"
      "That seems inappropriate?"
      "It's okay, we'll do it Dec 6, And on the 74th….ish anniversary! If we put a bunch of old guys in uniform, no one will question it! We don't even have to donate money!"

  8. I'd be excited for the Eagles, but I've seen too many damn games where the Patriots managed to come from behind yet again. Oh well, hope springs eternal…

  9. This Panthers – Saints game is pretty good. I am unspeakably grateful to have an alternative to watching the Chargers or the Raiders (ick.)

    Also, for those of you who still go there Wonkette is live-blogging Bamz' presser. I'll be there, and then I guess I'll check in and see if Pig Pen can get through one game without a concussion FFS…

  10. This is all part of New England's secret plan to give away the #1 seed to Denver or Cincinnati so they'll have the added pleasure of beating one (or both) of those teams in their own stadium.

  11. OK, time to watch Bamz do his thing. I hope you all are nice to me when my team finds a new way to fuck it up tonight…

  12. PFTCommenter

    Australa is like the SEC of the former British colonys because everyone talks w/ a funny accent and no ones scared of gators

  13. Imagine a Cowboys win tomorrow night. This would be the standings:

    Eagles 5-7
    Washington 5-7
    Giants 5-7
    Cowboys 4-8

    And we thought the AFC South would be the worst one…

  14. Me: "So, did Heinz [sic] Ward's mom name him after a brand of ketchup?"

    smokey: "No, it's Hines. H-I-N-E-S… But his sister's name is Hidden Valley."

      1. Well, he was born about 9 years before "White Nights" came out, so, maybe? Also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we0mk_J0zyc

        Also, also, too, fun fact, I was 12 when this movie came out and all of my friends were going to see it at the local theater. The thing was, this movie was one of the first rated PG-13 and my parents, out of nowhere, suddenly decided an impressionable 12-years-and-8-months-old person could not possibly understand the mature themes of "White Nights" and forbade me to go and I was SO MAD.

        1. I guess Mrs. Ward came up with name about 3 years before Eubie! was up for the Tonys, but it's possible she was psychic (or distantly related).

          Heh. My first R-rated film was Saturday Night Fever, which I saw with my best friend and her 18-year-old brother. Julie and I did not understand quite a lot of what was going on. But it was not nearly as scarring as the Dracula movie I accidentally saw late one night when I was 8, causing me to sleep with my blanket over my neck for, well, ever.

          1. I honestly don't remember what my first R-rated movie was, but my first PG-13 movie was "Murphy's Romance" starring Sally Field and James Garner. Ah, the 80s.

            Was the Dracula movie you saw a Hammer Studios production by any chance? Starring Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing? They're pretty gory.

          2. I don't remember many details, just that it scared the pants off of me. That does sound right, though.

          3. I'm sorry you were traumatized. When I was growing up, and well into my early teen years, I couldn't handle scary movies of any kind. Never saw Halloween or Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street movies. When I was about 13 my best friend, whose family had a fancy top-load vcr, made me watch the Twilight Zone movie. I was fine until Dan Akroyd turned around in that damn mask.

  15. Worst crowd chants currently happening in the NFL, according to drunk me.

    5. Go Pack Go!
    4. Any "It's another [insert team name] FIRST DOWN!"
    3. The shitty riff before "Go Pack Go!"
    2. The "Tomahawk Chop" in KC.
    1. The Denver fans yelling, "IN-COM-PLETE!" every fucking time.

    Also, not a chant, but especially annoying: the Patriots "Minutemen" shooting off fake muskets after every score. Also, their shitty foghorn thing going off after every fucking play.

  16. God, Indy not only lost to us, but we kicked ass. Call me shocked, confused, and elated all at the same time…

    See you all tomorrow night!

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