103 thoughts on “Because Everything is Terrible, Here is a Swimming Kitteh

          1. Might check with glass, I remember she was considering abandoning I.D. for the
            problem solving group.

  1. Apropos of nothing, I just feel the need to share this: I have concluded that my chihuahua is an idiot savant. I knew he is an idiot, I mean, he's a chihuahua. He barks at himself in the mirror, after he poops he always bends himself in half to examine his butt, as if surprised that poop came out of it yet again and that maybe he should get that fixed. But then he has momentary flashes of intelligence that are a little frightening. Today I realized he knows the names of multiple toys, including "lambchop" and "other lambchop."

    However, those moments are completely eclipsed by the idiocy.

    Now back to our regular programming.

    1. I have also discovered (in the course of cleaning out a closet and piling up a bunch of shoes) that my new-ish orange tabby cat has a shoe fetish and loves to sleep on shoes. My other two cats do not share this interest. However, my previous orange tabby used to have a shoe fetish, so it is strangely nice to once again have an orange tabby cat that has this obsession about shoes. (Obviously it is just that he loves the smell of the leather, but still.)

        1. No. It it the smell of the shoe leather.

          With my previous orange tabby, who lived to be 21, he had this huge thing about shoes. If I bought new shoes I would leave them out for him and he would rub all over them like they were made from catnip. After they got broken in and that new shoe smell wore off he was no longer interested. It was just new leather shoes, or leather shoes that had been carefully boxed away so that they retained their new shoe smell.

          This new kitty seems to be the same way. It is cute – he is sound asleep right now on top of this pile of shoes. He was rubbing his face on them earlier. These are shoes that I have had boxed away in the closet and I dragged them all out to decide which ones I want to keep. He's apparently just like the previous orange tabby. I wonder if it is a thing with this particular breed.

    2. My schnoodle likes to navigate towards the older, less patient cat, get in his face until the cat swipes at him, then hide under the couch where it's easy for the cat to get at him, and impossible to retreat or escape. He repeats this every night.

      1. LOL! That is similar to a Stupid Chihuahua Trick that this one does – he is fascinated by the orange cat's butthole. He will watch the orange cat from afar for when the cat settles into nap posture. Then he will sneak – and I do mean sneak – up behind the cat and lie down with his snout as close to the orange cat's butt as he dares. Since the orange cat is totally aware he is doing this and clearly is indifferent, that usually means the dog will stick his nose right up against the cat's butthole and then just lie there, on guard, but just lying there very still, sniffing away. The chihuahua seems to think he is taking his life in his hands with this activity. The cat seems to think this is just some stupid thing he has to put up with in his new home.

        ETA: This sneaking can take as long as 10 minutes for the chihuahua to inch across the couch. It is the most ridiculous thing to watch. I think the other animals, who do watch this, are thinking: Hey idiot! He knows you're coming just get on with it already!

        1. Sorry, read this just now, 2 days late as I am slow, like your Chihuahua, (which I always pronounce phonetically as chi-hoowa-hoowa) but anyway, made my day and thank you. Hope the orange cat is well.

      1. @Rob184rob
        3h3 hours ago
        Replying to @ashleyfeinberg
        Crab cake?
        Is "crab" an autocorrect?

        If he hasn't already, can't wait for C_R_ to see this.

          1. There is so much wrong with this.

            That is not a crab cake. That is a patty formed from cheap industrial breadcrumbs, containing a chopped tablespoon of no-doubt fraudulent Indonesian crab held together with commercial McDonald's scrambled egg mix, burnt in a pan in a puddle of lard and served with wholly superfluous potato fingers and a disturbingly diarrhetic brown sauce who's sole purpose seems to be to distract from the nightmarish reality of the thing you have just ordered in good faith appearing before you.

            Any restaurant that serves this would send you a plate of foul cookie-cutter skate wing rounds and claim they were sea scallops.

            This is a thing served by people who have no pride, to people who have no taste.

            No stars and a quick call to the State Department of Health.

          2. I remember that it happened, but not the 'why's'.
            I might have just bagged it the minute it started

          3. It was like a switch was turned on. Or the floodgates opened. Overnight, it became something "else".

          4. It was a food writer she snagged from some site from the soon to be defunct gawker empire. His name escapes me, but he brought hundreds of new commenters to the shire, most of whom sucked. Some assimilated though, but the whole experience made teh wonkette too big and crowded and busy for me to take anymore.

    1. I love the smell of bacon in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn’t find one of ’em, not one stinkin’ pig body. The smell, you know that pan-fried smell, the whole hill. Smelled like victory.

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