116 thoughts on “Butthole Servers

  1. Each user of the toilet is identified through their fingerprint and the distinctive features of their anoderm, and the data are securely stored and analysed in an encrypted cloud server.

    Mark my words, biometric butthole I.D. is going to make its way on to your driver's license. "Real I.D." program my ass.

    1. “Each user of the toilet is identified through their fingerprint and the distinctive features of their anoderm”

      Why not JUST THE FINGERPRINT?

      1. I dunno, I think it's possible to fake fingerprints.
        Like, eventually you'll use this to unlock your phone.

  2. Remember that wonkette evergreen post about the guy who insisted his roommate weigh in and out of the bathroom before and after taking a dump to monitor stress on the septic system? This is a game changer!

      1. At least we never had to mute a Grisham press conference, because she didn't have any, not a single one. That probably ends now.

  3. Do you think that it's difficult for the Trump Administration to find so many awful, incompetent simpletons, of is the Trump Administration some kind of great attractor magnet for awful, incompetent simpletons?

        1. Well, I dunno how to evaluate their intelligence, but I can, with confidence, say that they are bad people.

        1. I wish I could be watching the results coming in, but my DVR takes over when more than a couple of shows are set to record simultaneously, and tonight is the series finale of "Schitt's Creek". Priorities!

  4. Current Pima County COVID-19 Case Information

    TOTAL CASES 415
    Newly Reported 0

    Data entry called-in sick?

        1. Only once, August '95 at Baltimore's Pier Six pavilion. Just him and another guy with a mandolin & fiddle. Flat-out Outstanding, you can believe it. Played straight through, seemed like 2 hours. Played the hell out of Muhlenberg County as an encore. I would have paid more, wonderful niht.

          Aside – way up front were 3 of the absolutely most drunken people I've ever seen in public. Dancing, staggering, falling down and throwing up drunk, people in the front and back rows actually moved away. Didn't bug John, he's seen and played through it all.

          'Nother aside – Cape Breton fiddler Ashley MacIsaac opened with a blistering set. Check him out if you can.

          1. Something in the water in the Maritimes, damn they produce some fine fiddlers, and he seems to be related to half of 'em!

    1. [ Hat is on fire today ]
      Wife: what's that
      Me: nothing
      Wife: it's something. What's in the jar?
      Me: nothing, nothing, just an empty jar
      Wife: what is that in there?
      Me: meth. I have a meth habit
      Wife: no you don't. It's — oh my god. Is that sourdough starter? really?
      Me: NO I SWEAR, IT'S A JAR OF PORN

    1. Don't remember that, but I was probably drunk/high for a lot of that winter. Probably crapped a lot while at school.

      Cool site though. DId not know.

        1. ♪ ♫ ♪ ♪ ♫ ♪
          I did all my dumping at work
          and all my pissin in the bars.
          Didn't have no TV back then
          so did all my playin on a guitar

    1. Sunny & 65, <10% chance of rain for the next 10 days. FFS, this is April & that's still supposed to be a drizzle month in Seattle, like 10 of the other 12.

      1. I don't remember the last time I've seen the sun, moon or stars. It's making this isolation bullshit even more depressing.

  5. Never dabbled with COBOL, Fortran IV was what I took in class far too many years ago. Then taught myself Rocky Mountain Basic, 'cause that's what all the HP data logging & signal generating equipment spoke.

  6. I had to teach myself some version of BASIC because otherwise my Commodore VIC-20 just sat there, blinking. I think the time between tossing that and getting my first PC were the good old days, looking back.

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