110 thoughts on “The Age of Asparagus

  1. "Also Donald Trump will be reelected, but he’ll be impeached again and this time he’ll be convicted and removed from office."

    Well the called Brexit right, and this isn't impossible either.

  2. When the loon is in the US House
    And the Rona aligns with SARS
    Then produce will guide the planets
    And spears will steer the stars
    This is the dawning of the age of Asparagus

        1. A new take on the old drink – a stinger. That's crème de menthe & brandy. Too sweet for me but some folks like em since they will create a buzz.

      1. "Fire up a hornetini, sit back, relax, and watch the pictures, now, as they fly through the air."

    1. McS Newsletter this week …. but Americans and Arizonans have come together to help each other out. Together, we will all get through this.

      Musta meant tots and pears

          1. That may have been a Kimmel joke that is now being criticized as either ' not funny ' or 'fake news' .

          2. hE dIdNt aCtUaLLy dELiVeR tHoSe eMpTy bOxEs, LiBtArD!

            (No, they just loaded a bunch of them into the van to make it look like they were distributing far more PPE than they actually were- e.g. just another bit of Trumpian bullshit to make it look like they were doing more. Since they only delivered those empty boxes 90% of the way and didn't literally set them on the doorstep, it doesn't count, because reasons) )

        1. Trump: Katie, she tested very good for a long period of time and then all of the sudden today she tested positive… This is why the whole concept of tests aren’t necessarily great

      1. Blue should totes wear that to our next Dia de los Muertos parade (assuming it happens this year)

    1. Cool. Not my style but will sub. for the future.

      video seems kinda jerky, as in , not fluid, may be the connection on the laptop.

      1. It looks like there was a bottleneck outgoing. The box we're using to combine audio and video and convert it to streaming format is called the Blackmagic Web Presenter. One of the things it does is monitor traffic and throttle back when throughput drops, so that it's not as noticable and doesn't get all jerky or just gom into digital hash. It does that by reducing frames per second to smooth out the picture. The next few acts that are booked aren't my cup of tea either, but if this takes off I'm going to talk to some of the peeps I know.

        1. Not sure I follow. It's a replay now, so if only three people are watching now it'll scale back how much
          is being sent?

          1. I think it's locked in, as it's a replay of the livestream and that happened when it was going out live. It's also likely the slowdown is on our end, so it wouldn't matter how many people are watching.

          2. How did I not hear about this?

            Also too, White Phosphorus is my new 80's hair metal/acid trance band name

          3. I don't know, but think about how much different the world would be if we replaced all cable news with Task & Purpose TV, Jacobin TV, and Gizmodo TV. Noam Chomsky could anchor all three.

  3. toddstarnes
    @toddstarnes
    · 5h
    Dropped by a department store to buy a toaster oven. Mandatory hand sanitizer squirt and mask. One way aisles and if you deviate from the approved zone for customers – they sternly lecture you. The country as we know it has been destroyed. And I still don’t have a toaster.

    https://twitter.com/alexnazaryan/status/125892141

    1. ROFL what a fucking baby. Hey Todd, 90% of us don't have to be "sternly lectured" about basic common sense and common decency, because we're not entitled douchebags so we gladly comply with the rules set forth by a private business on their private property. Why do you hate the free market, Todd? Why do you hate Murica?

      "Dearest Martha,

      Heavy losses today for us during the Battle of Macy's. The cleaning products and good manners decimated our ranks. As we were incapable of turning left, we soon were cornered and had to withdraw.

      We'll be eating raw bread tonight…no toaster, yet.

      -Todd"

  4. Contact made with the AT&T store. I still had insurance on my Samsung S-7 Edge, so I'll be getting a new replacement in a few days. I was hoping they were out of that phone and offered me a newer model, but no such luck. This will be my 3rd. Always been a problematic device. I'm over those $1000+ phones. They can choke on them.

      1. Ya just don't fuck with their meat products, man.

        [ and I am going to smear this story with extra stniky, runny shit and smash into into a couple people's faces
        whom I know ]

      1. Mom would have …………no, no she wouldn't

        Automaty liczą, liczą,liczą
        Liczą cały czas.
        Automaty liczą na człowieka.
        Automaty liczą, programują,
        Odgarniają śnieg,
        Liczną liczbą liczą
        Obliczenia.

        Automaty liczą, mylą się,
        A powinny nie,
        Automaty automatyzują.
        Automaty szybko niszczą się,
        Niszczą się,
        Ale znowu się reprodukują.

        My nie wiemy nic,
        My wolimy śnić,
        Niech automat wszystko robi sam,
        Wiemy jednak, że
        Przyjdzie kiedyś dzień,
        W którym zwykłym automatem
        Staniesz się też.

        Wielkie automaty liczą nas,
        Segregują nas,
        Małych ludzi, co je obsługują,
        Wykonują rzędy długich liczb,
        Niewiadomych liczb,
        Oznaczają nas symbolem x.

  5. #6 Quarantine Concert Series May 9, 2020 Live at Fur Peace Ranch

    We're processing this video. Check back later.

    1. Yeah, that was fuxxored all the way through, but the first half hour was just not there. The rest of the set had sync issues.
      Good, though!

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